Next Step From Ditching MULTI-TASKING Is Ditching LIFE BALANCE & HAPPINESS

by Helene Malmsio
(Strategic Action)


No, I'm not crazy. A while ago now I had a very satisfying rant about the non-joys and benefits of "multitasking" that had wasted our productivity, frozen us to the spot more often than any of us wanted to admit, AND left us feeling never satisfied as we couldn't celebrate the completion of any one single thing at a time.

And importantly, we ended up not doing anything as well as we would like to have done it .... "Close enough is Good enough", became our mantra for justifying mediocrity.

So I decided to simply refuse to multitask my life away any more!

Well, today I read an interesting post by Lynn Terry who is a well known IM entrepreneur... a genuine success story who does not hide behind the perceived glamour of WAH internet success and the laptop lifestyle by the pool.

In her post she also discusses the ugly truth about what it takes to be consistently motivated and 'driven'... its called FEAR. And there is usually very little LIFE BALANCE or any Happiness to be enjoyed while in the process of striving to get out and stay out of the shit life flings at us.

While we are up to our neck in it, 100% of our focus becomes all about fixing it and having to learn the new skills to work your way out of it.

Sometimes the shit keeps happening before you even get a chance to enjoy any success from your IM work. Other times the shit comes after you become comfortable and complacent that you've worked it out and finally know what you're doing online, and you have a system that will keep making you money while you sleep - lol.

But the bottom line is that shit WILL happen, and its what you DO ABOUT IT that shapes your future destiny.

If you pick yourself up, read the books, learn how to fix it and make it better than ever, learn the life skills to work better with people, learn the professional development training that will make you stronger, smarter, more resilient, and a better more creative problem solver .... THEN you will enjoy the sweet taste of success in your online & business projects.

(But still no guarantee of any perfect Life Balance as a result!)

This is how it goes in all business, not just online IM.

Jim Rohn spent his life trying to teach us that the true achievement was not in reaching the Goals we set, but in becoming the person capable of achieving those Goals.

I've wondered why I'm so driven, such a workaholic. And pondered why my sense of self worth is tied to the work I do.

And I think that a life that has been touched by real hunger and just HAVING to sort this shit out, and make sure it never happens again, is behind 'being driven' it as Lynn reveals in her post.

Yes, fear is a real motivator. And it is ugly when shit happens, and it is unfair, it does happen to 'good people'.

And you know what? That goal of BEING HAPPY.... of finding LIFE BALANCE...? It isn't going to happen the way we thought it would when we were drinking the cool-aid. Anymore than being able to 'happily' juggle a dozen tasks/projects in the air all at the same time for life/work/relationships/money etc.

I've been dancing as fast as I could, and it was not a pretty sight!

I decided to stop, because I was getting nowhere, not having any fun, and I was scaring the cats with my frenetic dancing on the spot.

There was no LIFE BALANCE between work/fun/social/health, and I was not deliriously happy EVER ... just in those few moments between "stuff happening" that I could catch a glimpse of what it was like to just smile and ponder the wonders of this thing called life.

I think Lynn is right when she says that instead of "Happiness" and "Life Balance" we should just strive for a sense of WELL BEING... that is my goal.

Just to move away from the stress, the sense of un-fulfilment and discontent, to just living in a sense of calmness, a sense of relaxed well-being. That sense of "Life is Good" we all get a flicker of now and then....

"Success is Getting what you Want...
Happiness is Wanting what you Get"
(-- maybe Ambrose Bierce?)

In the last 2 years of this new journey of self discovery and cutting back, I've massively reduced the amount of 'stuff' I accumulated in my drive to feel safe and secure, because it all eventually just becomes a burden instead of fun.

It is fun to get "stuff" at first, but then you have to find the right place to store it, to keep records of it, pay tax on it, pay to maintain it, protect it from people who want to steal it, insure it, replace it when it breaks, and some Stuff you give it away when you realize it doesn't serve you any more. And all that "stuff" includes money.

Accumulation for the sake of accumulation does not serve you.

In my online business in the past few years I've thrown away the To-Do lists that had grown a life of their own with the guilt of old unstarted projects, and half completed shiny new distractions that failed to deliver on their promises.

I've deleted so much stuff, resources, software, content, SNO that were supposed to make my online business simpler, faster, more profitable. And I'm a wary and very astute buyer, so God only knows what is on the average Newbie hard drive *sigh*

Now I have a goal for a much simpler, more Mindful and Minimalist base for my home, my comfort and my security - but still very solid because now I'm a Baby Boomer in my home run, I can't afford to lose everything I've earned in my lifetime so far.

But I still have many exciting projects I want to develop further, and new ones I am investing my time and money in... combination of on and off line businesses ... because they are still the challenges that make me feel ME.... I still don't know WHO I AM without working toward project goals.

I'm a work in progress. But I've been enjoying the process a lot more the last few years... when I cut adrift the grandiose expectations of my success in every single project. Now I 'experiment' with projects and cut them lose earlier if I choose to.

This is the only balance I now strive for ... some things DO come to you when you decide to "Let Go - Let God".
Other things you still have to drive "If its to be, its up to me"... but at least I'm finding a less stressful life with less expectations to make me feel like a failure.

I'm especially taking this quote to heart:
"Everyone wants to achieve Life Balance. Does that really exist? I'm not sure. It's one of those weird, intangible words - like "happiness". Does happiness exist? Sure. I've experienced it. Happy moments, at least. In between laundry, email, errands, paying taxes, etc, etc, etc.

I personally think you should ditch words like "balance" and "happiness" and instead shoot for an overall sense of well-being. That requires an interest and active hand in five areas of your life: career, financial, social, physical, community.

Branching out into the three areas of "well being" where I was seriously lacking has made a BIG difference in my life - and in my "happiness". " - Lynn Terry.

Yep, that's what I'm working towards.

Read her post here in full:
http://www.clicknewz.com/11970/the-flip-side/

And in another post she mentions John Reece as an example of someone who moved away to choose a different lifestyle after massive success in IM. Good on him! He has no regrets and he's no fool!



In conclusion:
We all learn as we go along... we are all a work in progress.

I'm happy shooting for an overall sense of well-being

I'm embracing Mindfulness and Minimalism in my later years.

And Jim Rohn was right... its all about us BECOMING the PERSON who is capable of achieving your goals, not just the act of arriving at the goals themselves. And I suspect that he also tried to tell us that meant becoming the kind of person who can step away from expecting to HAVE IT ALL, and being happy with enjoying a consistent sense of WELL BEING...

Well, that's a little more About Helene than you knew before - lol!

I hope you are enjoying your journey along the way as much as I am. Onwards and Upwards!

What do you think?

Are you also streamlining, cutting back, downsizing, in your life and work?

Or are you still happily Accumulating just because you can - lol?


Comments for Next Step From Ditching MULTI-TASKING Is Ditching LIFE BALANCE & HAPPINESS

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Wayne Dyer movie...
by: Helene

For a little while his movie is available to view online at no charge.

He also presents some views I've been pondering the past few days.

RIP Wayne... You are a celebration of a life lived well.

See his movie THE SHIFT here > >

http://www.drwaynedyer.com/the-shift-movie-watch-now

Looking forward to reading some comments from the people who spoke up about my Multi-Tasking post... Curious to see how you are all going with your lives, and if this new post resonates with you also. Or not - lol!

- Helene Malmsio

Totally Agree with You
by: Sue

Great post Helene and know exactly where you are coming from. Love Lynn's posts too and always follow her blog.

I am going through the same thing striving to find some type of balance and as you say nothing is perfect.

I like the mentality of the Well Being instead, going to strive for that!

Thanks

BuyPRLtoday.com

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Thanks for the comment Sue... I think we are all undergoing a shift in our perceptions of success and how we go about achieving our goals.

I know that Lynn's post really resonated with me.
Thank goodness
by: Jessica

Oh, thank god the world is coming to its senses about this multitasking lark!

I've never been good at trying to juggle too many balls at once, and when I tried in the past, my productivity ground to a halt because I got so frustrated at a lack of progress in any one area.

I've started to realize that, although I love some parts of IM, I don't really enjoy it on the whole.

I was trying to be an affiliate marketer, copywriter, email marketer, and PLR person when all I really love doing is writing and helping people.

Now, I'm focusing on releasing 1-2 PLR packs a month and writing novels. I'm letting go of the idea that I need to be some mover and shaker in the IM world, and instead of comparing my progress to that of others, I'm finding my own way.

With three kids, one of whom is special needs, and a husband who works LONG days, there is no such thing as a true work/life balance. There are good days, bad days and freaking awesome days.

There are also days where I want to curl up and die because the struggle is so hard, but I know those days pass, too.

Thank you for sharing this...we need to be kinder to ourselves in this short little life we get. As a country music song say, "100 years goes faster than you'd think," so we'd better spend more time enjoying it and less time looking for that greener pasture!

JessicaWoods

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Hey Jessica, thanks for dropping by.

It sure has been a long road... and the last few years sure have flown by fast!

I also gave up on the EXPECTATION of what we must BE when we go on the IM / online business journey ... I'm just glad that we are all re-discovering our own sense of purpose, and that we don't have to follow the IM Guru path to enjoy our own levels of success

Sound like you are doing just fine on your path!!
Want balance? Stand on one foot!
by: Patti

I think after a certain age we're no longer capable of multitasking. If I try these days, it completely wears me out.

Getting things to simple isn't always so simple, but it's worth it.

Patti Stafford


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I hear you. We've been walking the same road for many years now... and it doesn't get any simpler or easier.

I sometimes wonder if I'm taking "dumb pills" or something... my weary old brain cells are definitely not as sharp as they once were... need to keep things simple nowadays for my Poo Bear brain to stay on top of it - lol!
Is there such a thing as happiness?
by: Bonnie Gean

Hi Helene,

Is there such a thing as happiness? That idea invokes sitting back in total relaxation, sipping drinks by the pool and letting someone serve you hand and foot.

Sorry, but that type of scene doesn't exist in my life -- never did and never will. I can't sit idle. I don't have what it takes to be satisfied "in the moment".

The hubby constantly reminds me that I don't need to work. He makes plenty of money for the budget, with extra left over. So what? That doesn't tickle my fancy either. I've always been the independent type.

I was that way before we were married and no amount of "married life" will ever change how I feel.

I get it. Ditching life balance and happiness is a given here because in my world there is no such thing. I have a mate who isn't perfect. :)

Thanks for the thoughts. It's nice to hear that someone else doesn't believe life is all peachy keen and roses.

Life is what we make it.

- Bonnie Gean

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Ha Bonnie, you hit it on the head as usual - lol!
Thanks for not being a Yes person
by: Tom

Thanks for the keeping it real post. It reminds me of my Corporate Life and all the latest trends we were taught to subscribe to. We had a lot of "yes people" in the halls.

Had the truth been spoken it would have saved a lot of time used chasing the wrong rabbit down its hole.

The crew of Appolo 13 didn't say "Houston we have an opportunity".

Tom http://blog2profits.com/

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LOL! I love that Tom - had a good laugh!!! So painfully TRUE!

Yes, the good 'ol Corporate days... when I think of the time and effort wasted on the latest new systems.. we had to train in them, had to implement them, had to carry out 360 degree evaluations, had to report them, had to audit them, had to document the processes, had to hold endless meetings about it along the way - and if it was an HR process, then usually ended up firing the person in the end anyway ....

How the heck did any of us survive it????

I don't miss it one little bit... loving the much simpler life I have now as WAH operator.
Appreciate it!
by: Clare (EcoFriendlyLink.com)

I've noticed that the people I know who say they need more "balance" don't enjoy or appreciate their lives much.

Which is a great shame.

I find that green living - living simply, not rushing around trying to earn yet more money in order to buy more "stuff" (which then needs to be kept clean and stored and insured), gives you time to appreciate what you have, and enjoy it.

Of course, life still throws problems, but if you're not frantically trying to "keep up", you're better equipped to tackle them.

Clare EcoFriendlyLink.com

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You are so right Clare... I've been 'going green' for about 20 years now... and that includes being frugal and not buying unnecessary things, repurposing what you already have etc. and I'm seeing the results of that nowadays.

Its a big shift in our popular perceptions of what Success in life is, but its true - Less is More!!!
Oh Yeah
by: Margaret

I can totally relate to all you have said. I can sometimes be a stubborn daughter of a b and it took the big man up there to take control and put me in a position where I lost what I thought I needed and was my security.

To cut a long story short my business & home was taken away because of making decisions that proved to be a disaster ( all because I thought I could do it on my own ) BUT

I am happy - happier than I have been in many years. I can focus on what I really need to do - I have slowed down, spent more time helping others and finally found my 'joy' - writing childrens books.

I am 61 and it has taken an awful lot of life's lessons (some very unpleasant) to place me where I am today. I don't know whether I regret those lessons or not yet but I do know that I wouldn't be the person without them.

I hope it doesn't take others as long as it did with me to find their happy place.

Margie

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Oooosh! That sounds like some particularly painful 'lessons' for you to overcome and or learn from!

I'm so glad that you are now happier than ever before, it gives hope to those still struggling to find any happiness in their lives.

Personally, I always feel that Life. Is. Good. and I work to find the flow and my best path for my higher purpose.

Balance still eludes me - LOL - so I strive for daily grace and fulfillment instead.

Take care of yourself. All the best to you and your loved ones, from me and mine.

Helene

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