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Weekly Report: "Protect Yourself from the Top 10 Self Esteem Leeches"
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Inspiring Power Quotes For This Week:
"The road to success is always under construction."
- Lily Tomlin
"Hope is not a dream, but a way of making dreams become reality."
- L.J. Cardina Suenens
"They can because they think they can."
"We are made to persist. That's how we find out who we are."
- Tobias Wolff
"Success has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself. It's what you do for others."
- Danny Thomas
"Men are born to succeed, not to fail."
- Henry David Thoreau
"It's no use saying, 'We are doing our best.' You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary."
- Winston Churchill
This week the topic of protecting your self esteem introduces the rather heavy topic of toxic people and gives you some tips for dealing with difficult people that try to damage your wellbeing.
Unfortunately, I've had enough personal experience with these self esteem leeches that I can tell you it is well worth your time to learn the skill of protecting yourself from them.
My life became soooo much better, so much happier, when I finally recognized these people for what they were, and now I put distance between myself and them as soon as I identify one.
It is not an easy thing to do, to distance yourself from people (who are usually close family to you) that insist they are only "saying it for your own good"... while you know they are hurting you and how you see yourself.
Don't let them. This report will help you to identify these emotional leeches, and give you some fundamental self protection steps to keep them and their poison at
O.K. Lets begin with this weeks Power Tips report for you... ENJOY!
"Protect Yourself from the Top 10 Self Esteem Leeches"
Having a healthy self-esteem means that you have confidence.
You feel sure in what you can do. You like who you are as a person and you respect yourself. It means that you can see the value of being you.
Self-esteem is important because how you view yourself guides what you believe and how you feel. It also impacts how others feel about you. Unfortunately, there are leeches that can latch onto your self-esteem and drain it dry.
You want to protect yourself against these kinds of people, and sometimes, that means making the difficult decision to distance yourself from people who are close to you.
The Negative Leech
This is a leech that can be found in conversations. You can recognize it because this leech will try to make you feel bad about yourself. The words sound okay, but are said in such a way that they erode how you feel about yourself.
An example of a conversation leech would be, “Your dress
is beautiful. It would look better on you if you’d lose a few pounds.” This is the sucker punch conversation.
The first part of it was kind and so you were relaxed and open. The blow came next - and many people are caught off guard. It affects the self-esteem because we internalize it, making what was said about us - instead of the person who said it.
You can get rid of leeches like this by saying in return, “That’s kind of personal. Why would you say something like that?” A leech can only walk away with your self-esteem if you allow it.
People who tell you that you’re ugly, or fat or stupid or worthless are self-esteem leeches. Don’t give them another second of your time. Don’t put up with these types of comments.
You’re not their beliefs. Those statements are a reflection of them, not you. But what’s worse than those kinds of negative leeches is when we become our own negative leech.
We tell ourselves that we’re ugly or fat
or stupid or worthless. We erode our self-esteem ourselves. No one is born with this kind of self-talk. We learn it from a self-esteem leech.
Once you adopt their behaviors and you’re saying this kind of stuff in your head every time you have to make a decision, you find your quality of life deteriorating rapidly.
The Social Media Leech
This has become a huge leech and it’s growing bigger and sucking the self-esteem from millions of people. Social media opened the door for so many people to become leeches.
They bully and they tear down others, they drain away at the self-esteem of others in order to build themselves up. They say snarky comments to people that sting way down deep.
Most people take the comments of perfect strangers to heart and don’t take the time to recognize the comments for what they were - the attitude and actions from someone who doesn’t have the capacity for online maturity.
You have to
ignore comments that try to tear you down on your social media sites. There are many people who consider themselves expert trolls – whose sole purpose is to cause friction online. It’s their form of entertainment.
Social media can be a self-esteem leach if it causes you to look at someone else’s life and wish that were your life. What you need to remember is that social media presents a false balance of life to the world. v
You only get a peek at it. The perfect house, the perfect family, the smiles and laughter and heavily edited photos don’t show the true picture. Don’t let these false representations tear down your self-esteem.
A lot of social media is embellished because people find it easier to present a better version of their lives - and it often greatly differs from reality. Keep in mind that many people are too self-conscious to speak up about the sad side of their lives.
The Mistake Leech
You wouldn’t be human if you
didn’t make mistakes. Some people make a lot of little mistakes, while others make mistakes that are pretty big. But you must realize that the mistakes that you’ve made do not define who you are.
They’re not a picture of your future. Mistakes are simply something that happened that can offer you the opportunity to learn from the situation. The leech presents itself in this area by not allowing you to move on.
When we make mistakes, it’s often those closest to us who won’t let it go. They remind you of your mistake and it can feel like they’re rubbing your nose in it.
They remind you how you tried to start a business and failed, how you ruined your finances, how they warned you that the guy or girl you were crazy about was bad news.
These mistake leeches can be hard to take and really put a dent in your healthy self confidence, but even more so when you’re the
one putting the mistake leech on yourself. You remind yourself about how you failed.
How you wish you hadn’t done what you did. Get rid of this self-esteem leech once and for all by telling yourself that it’s over and you’re moving on into the right direction.
Tell others the same thing if they keep bringing it up. Don’t drag your mistakes around with you and don’t let others pile them on you, either. Take a firm stance against having the past thrown in your face to knock you down as you try to better your life.
The Approval Seeker Leech
Some people have a laid back personality. Others have a more forceful personality. Both can have strengths to offer. But the problem arises when someone with a stronger personality decides what your life should or shouldn’t be.
They try to make it so that you have to seek their approval in every aspect of your
life. When you try to do something on your own, they’re quick to tell you why that won’t work and how it’s not smart of you to attempt it.
What this does is erode your self-esteem until you’re driven to come to them for advice and help with whatever you want to do in life.
These kinds of leeches keep you dependent on them for your happiness (and theirs) and you surrender control of your life to them in return.
You don’t need approval to be who you are and to live the kind of life you’ve always wanted. Your actions are your own and you’re smart enough to reach for your dreams without having to seek approval.
If you don’t know the way that you should go, take a deep breath and relax. You will learn. You are capable. You don’t need anyone else’s stamp of approval for your path.
The Comparison Leech
This nasty leech is one that we put on ourselves and we all have trouble with this one. It can erode self-esteem
pretty quickly and leave you feeling unhappy with your life - even if you have a pretty good one.
This leech makes you feel like you’re not doing a good enough job with handling your life because it fails to measure up to someone else’s. Even a multi millionaire can suffer from this as he compares himself to a multi billionaire.
The comparison leech piles on us when we feel jealous of someone else. We can experience jealously because they appear to have a partner or spouse who treats them better.
We can feel jealously because their house is nicer. Their car is newer. Their clothes are more expensive. Maybe they have a better job. Perhaps they can afford to do home renovations that you wish you could do.
They get to take lavish vacations to places that you’ve dreamed of going. This kind of comparison robs you of living your life. You don’t know what’s going on in someone else’s life and looking at it from the outside can often give you
a distorted view.
It could be that you have more freedom than they do. That you’re not in debt like they are, that you’re not dealing with the emotional situations they’re hiding from the world. You never know what’s truly going on with someone else.
Get rid of this leech by recognizing and being grateful for the good that you have in your own life. Refuse to allow negative feelings to tower over someone else’s seemingly good fortune.
Report continued below...
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"Protect Yourself from the Top 10 Self Esteem Leeches" Report continued...
The What Others Think of You Leech
This leech steals self-esteem. We assume that people are thinking thoughts about us that are less than kind. We believe that they’re having conversations and our names are cropping up.
In these conversations, nothing good is being said. They’re surely discussing the way that we look. They’re talking about how poor our products are. They’re discussing rumors they’ve heard about us.
Believing this makes us feel self-conscious and awkward. It robs us of what could be beautiful friendships and new opportunities because we shy away from these people or we keep them at arm’s length - afraid to say or do something that will give them more fuel to think about us or talk about us negatively.
You can get rid of this leech by realizing that other people really aren’t dwelling on you or your life. Everyone is far too busy to keep up with someone else’s life. They have all they can handle with their
So don’t let yourself dwell on what you think others are saying. Worst-case scenario, you’re right – they are ridiculing you. So what? Other peoples’ opinions have no place in your life.
The Perfectionism Leech
This is the leech that will not allow you room to truly live. When you allow this leech to attach to your life, you don’t leave room for much good because what happens is this leech brings with it the waiting game.
You have to wait until everything is perfect for you to make that move personally or professionally. You don’t take chances with new ideas or ventures because perfectionism doesn’t welcome mistakes.
You can begin to develop an all or nothing mentality. Perfectionism is a terrible leech because it can leave you feeling bruised inwardly. You’ll beat yourself up every time you make a mistake.
And since you will make mistakes as long as you’re breathing, you’ll go through life thinking that
you’ll never be able to do anything right. The perfectionism leech will convince you that you will never be good enough.
You’ll walk around believing that you’re a failure before you even attempt to do anything. This leech keeps many people stuck in a life of wanting more but never having it because you would have to risk failure.
The Drama Leech
These are leeches that take from you, destroy your self-esteem and make you absolutely miserable. Many people are familiar with these leeches in their personal life.
They understand that people who take and never give back aren’t good for them. With a drama leech, whatever is going on their life is absolutely the most important thing - and you must help them deal with it immediately.
You have to put your personal or professional life on hold in order to bolster them up, and keep them from going under. If you do, you get sucked in every time they need you.
your self-esteem when it reaches the point to where you can’t be there every time they need you because it’s impacting your life negatively. Your significant other isn’t happy about the amount of time the drama takes you away.
You miss work or you can’t concentrate on work because the drama leech is wrecking your time or taking over your thoughts. Your boss tells you that you’re just not cutting it at work any more, or a business partner feels let down by your lack of focus and commitment.
To deal with this leech, you have to understand that for some people, drama is a lifestyle. While it may be true that they have problems, even a ton of problems, if you’re always the one that rescues them, you’ve entered into a co-dependent relationship.
This drama usually comes from toxic friends or family – but it can also be people in your professional life - and if you don’t rush in to rescue them, they turn on you.
They’ll say that you’re not
doing enough to help them. You’re not loaning them money, holding their hand, rushing over every time they call. They’ll slap ugly labels on you or tear you down.
You don’t have enough empathy. You’re mean. You don’t love them enough. How can you be so selfish? When they say negative things about you, you can begin to believe the problem is you.
Especially if you’re dealing with several family members or professional acquaintances in a group who are drama leeches, it can be a big drain on you emotionally and physically.
When you’re always putting out fires for others and you realize someone is leaning on you too much, put your foot down and become unavailable so that they’re forced to handle things themselves – or find someone else to turn to instead of you.
Yes, they’ll be frustrated in you. They may even lash out. But that’s because they’re not comfortable handling their own life obstacles. You don’t want to enable them
The Disempowerment Leech
When your self-esteem is strong, you can speak boldly and with confidence about who you are and what you do or want from life. Disempowerment happens when others don’t value what you do or what you want.
For example, for the person who wants to go to an Ivy League college, for someone else to say, “Oh they let anyone in there now” devalues your hard work and effort.
It steals your sense of accomplishment and pride. But you can also put this leech on yourself. For example, if you’ve always wanted to run an online crafts business and someone asks you want you do, if you downplay it, that can begin to deplete your self esteem.
Don’t downplay your accomplishments or make light of your hard work. The problem that this leech causes with your self-esteem is that it can affect your perspective.
You can recognize if you’re disempowering yourself by how you speak about yourself or your
life. If you say, “I wish I could start my own business,” this is a disempowering way of thinking. Instead, change that to “I am starting my own business.”
The Conforming Leech
This is the leech that looks at how things have been done and doesn’t see a way to do it any differently. Its strength is found in tradition, in the way that things have always been done instead of the way that things can be done better.
This leech erodes your self-esteem by insinuating that your ideas are foolish - that there’s no way they’ll work because no one else has ever been able to accomplish that.
You can talk yourself out of trying anything if you allow the conforming leech to dictate what you do or don’t do in life. You might hear this referred to as the road not traveled.
The reason the road isn’t taken and new ventures sometimes don’t get off the ground is because people are afraid to stand out - afraid to run with an idea that others
say can’t be done or is different from the norm.
When you have an idea and you tell yourself that it’s foolish or you allow others to convince you that it’s foolish, your self-esteem takes a hit because you can start to believe that you’re not as smart as others who’ve found success.
Start believing in innovation again. That’s how life changes for the better. Stop putting limitations on yourself and free yourself from all of the chains that bind you.
You can learn how to build your self esteem and how to increase your self confidence by reading good self books and participating in some coaching and online training like the Tai Lopez 67 steps program or the Tony Robbins "Get the Edge" and his original "Personal Power II" 30 day training series. They are brilliant, and you will get huge benefit from them. I know I did when I studied them!
I hope you enjoyed this self
help report and will put the information to good use!
You can learn more here about how to build self esteem with my online self help guide.
You may also find it helpful to look at this self development plan sample guide section to help you work out some of the things in life you want to work on.
And please do let me know what your most desired topics are, and I'll try my best to publish exactly what you are looking for
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Healthy Power Tip:
Natural Remedy Herbal Teas:
I enjoy the occasional herbal tea, despite being a black tea addict. When I have a cold it is GUARANTEED that you will find me sipping Chamomile, Honey and Lemon tea. My grandmother used to give this tea to me when I was a child, and it automatically makes me feel better, and is steeped in fond memories of TLC as well.
Give these a try, you never know, they just might help you!
Put a pinch of each herb in a coffee filter and place in your coffee maker.
Wait a half hour before drinking this mix, this should make you tired so you can sleep your headache away.
p.s. Also, as soon as you feel a headache begin, make sure you drink one or two glasses of water, as often it is just the result of restricted blood vessels due to being dehydrated.
Healing Ginger tea
2 cups of water
tablespoons freshly grated ginger root
Place in pan with a lid on, bring to a boil, turn off the heat and let sit for two hours.
Re-heat the tea, strain the herb from the tea and drink.
1 ½ oz dried Vervain leaves
1 oz Chamomile
½ oz Spearmint
Mix all and add to 1 cup boiling water. Steep 8 minutes; strain.
Less Stress Tea
Relieves stress, relaxes low back and neck areas.
1 part chamomile
1 part mint
1 part calendula flowers
Place all herbs in a tea ball or bag, put in your nicest or most favorite cup or mug, and cover with boiling water. Steep for 10 minutes.
Remove tea ball or bag, and add sugar, honey, sweetener, milk, cream or whatever, to taste.
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"Simple, Smart Personal Finance Habits That Can Save You Money"
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"Simple, Smart Personal Finance Habits That Can Save You Money"
Did you know that the average person could save over $1,000 a year just by being just that little bit smarter with their personal finances? Who ever said personal finance was dull hey?
Here are some short, sharp tips that are slim on the time it takes to get the ball rolling, but downright fat on the impact it will have on your wallet.
Bargain With Banks.
If your bank has introduced new checking fees, pop down and see your bank manager and let him know you’re considering switching accounts. Many banks will waive some checking fees if you keep your business with them (or more accurately threaten to take your account over the road).
Don’t Be Late On Paying Your Credit Card Debt.
Credit card companies rely on customers not paying their bills on time. The average American household has a rather frightening $15,000 or so on their credit cards.
Become financially lean by paying your credit card bills promptly and you could be saving a small fortune over the course of the year. While some people do face cash flow problems in paying their credit card debt, a lot of folk are just disorganized!
Playing The Stock Market? Become Dividend Oriented.
Let’s call a spade a spade. The stock market has been in the toilet for some time now. However, if you’re a player then consider looking more at dividend paying stocks. The prediction for capital growth is rather dismal from all quarters.
However, by going with quality dividend paying stocks you’re guaranteed, and I used that term rather lightly, some income over the course of the year.
Protect Your Credit Like A Knight In Shining Armour Would His Queen.
Look, in these austere times, the days of cheap and cheery lending are about as close to home as the planet Jupiter. Banks have become awfully selective in whom they offer credit
To avoid paying over the odds for loans, begin to actively protect your credit rating. Clearly, this means doing things like paying your credit card bills on time, every time.
Investors, Spread Your Capital Over Many Assets.
If you’re fortunate enough to have a portfolio, spread it out over various asset classes. Introduce a variety of different asset classes to your capital mix, including tangibles like gold and other “solids”.
The stock market boom has been over for a while, investors need to diversify smartly into different assets if they are to protect and grow wealth.
We live in a society of sensational choice. Whether it’s your credit cards, your bank account or your groceries – shop around. You can save a small fortune by hopping in and out of the best deals.
Be Wary Of Debt.
Easier said than done? Sure. However, some debts are better than others. A mortgage is a form of
debt, but it’s also an investment. As far as possible, avoid unregistered loan sharks and dubious payday lenders.
Get debt help advice from government bodies and registered charities in case you find yourself succumbing to suffocating debt problems. Don’t spend all the money you save from these personal finance tips all at once!
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Editor’s Note by Helene Malmsio
Well, I did warn you that this week's report was a heavy one, didn't I?
But I promise you it is well worth your while to learn this lesson well. Even if this means protecting your self esteem from your mother or your husband etc. there is no excuse for anyone close to you to be hurting you.
Narcissist and misogynists abound everywhere unfortunately, and you will never get the better of them. Your only path is to walk away and leave them to their own devices, or they will drag you down.
OK... now for a change of pace. Life has been good here... Spring has sprung. My garden is beckoning me to play in some dirt and young vegetables are delighting me.
This year I hope to once again harvest wonderful crop from my potted fruit trees. They are simply amazing! Peaches, Apricots, Apples, Mandarins, Lemons... and blueberry bushes, raspberries... oh my!!
So how am I doing? Are you getting benefit from these self growth reports? Most
importantly: Will you USE what you are learning?
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May you always have Love to Share, Health to Spare, and Friends that Care!
Have a Laugh!
I thought this batch of bumper "slickers" was too good to pass up. A couple are political or a bit risqué, but I think you'll enjoy them.
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
Horn Broken...Watch For Finger.
The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha.
So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
Illiterate? Write For Help.
Honk If Anything Falls Off.
Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost,
But is Miles From The Next Exit.
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits
With An Unarmed Person.
You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
(Seen Upside Down On A
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...
Guys: No Shirt, No Service
Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
If Walking Is So Good For You, Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.
Boldly Going Nowhere.
Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.
Heart Attacks: God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?
All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets.
"Politicians And Diapers Should Be Changed Often
And For The Same Reason"
Thank you once again for joining us today, I hope that you have found some helpful self help tips and also found our free PLR article helpful to build your online properties!
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