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Editor’s Note by Helene Malmsio
Self Help Report: "Getting What You Need and Want in Life"
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Inspiring Power Quotes:
"You see things and say, 'Why?' But I dream of things that never were and say 'Why not?'"
- George Bernard Shaw
"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."
- Thomas Edison
"You must have long range goals to keep from being frustrated by short-term failures."
- Bob Bales
"What you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it."
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Editor’s Note by Helene Malmsio
♬♩♫ ♪ Wishin' and Hopin' and Dreamin' ♬♫♬ ... just doesn't cut it, if there are things that you really, really, want in life.
The hard fact is that nothing is going to just fall into your lap, unless you happen to be born into unusually rich circumstances, so you might as well start learning how to do it for yourself!
Throughout life, you’re going to have things you NEED and things you WANT.
To create the life that fulfills both sides of this for you, you have to step up and make any changes that have to be made to make it all come to fruition.
You have to know what you need as well as what you want and trust that you have the power to make it a reality. You can become the kind of person that attracts these desirable things in life.
It’s all within your control if you make a plan of action and pursue it.
And by the way, this report goes hand in hand with your self help book download I
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O.K. Lets begin with this edition's Power Tips report for you... ENJOY!
The Difference Between Wants and Needs
"Getting What You Need and Want in Life"
There is a difference between what you want and what you need in both your personal and your professional life.
A need is what you have to have if you’re going to survive. If you take this need away, your chance of survival diminishes.
You will face a struggle to live without having your needs met. These needs can be things that take care of you physically, provide for your mental health or support you emotionally.
A person needs specific things for their physical survival. You need food, shelter, clothing, and water. Depending on the weather, you would need a way to either stay cool or stay warm.
You also have emotional needs - such as being in a place where you feel safe, having love and support from others.
A want is different than a need because if you don’t have it, you could still survive.
What you want in life may not be the same thing as what
your friends or family want. Your wants are tailored to who you are.
You need a pair of shoes and a cheap pair will meet that need, but you want a three hundred dollar pair.
You need shelter and a tent will take care of your survival, but you want a mansion. You need food and beans will do - but you want steak.
You may need a relationship to fulfill your dream of having children, but you want someone with a specific appearance and personality.
Professionally, you have needs and wants. You need a job to pay your bills. But you want one that offers additional perks over and above that.
You may need to increase your skills in the career you have so you decide to go back to college.
You may want to attend the expensive private college where the costs would make you struggle financially. But a more affordable state college will suffice. You’ll still be getting the need met just not the want.
could be that your job requires you to travel by car. You have a perfectly good used car that you drive. But you want a new one to impress the people you work with.
You may have decided to start a business from home and now you need customers for it to succeed.
Buyers are something you must have professionally for your business to survive. But wanting to immediately hire a team of other people to do the work you don’t want to handle is a want.
You may need an office. But you want the corner office with the best view. Some people might think that it’s wrong to want big things in life or to strive to have expensive things.
It’s not wrong at all as long as you prioritize putting your needs above your wants.
You need to be able to keep a roof over your head. If you want an expensive car but the payments can jeopardize your ability to pay your mortgage then buying that car would be the wrong move to make.
Develop a Voice to Get What You Want and Need
Whether it’s in their personal or professional life, many people end up not getting what they want. They assume the other person knows what it is and just isn’t delivering on their end.
But people aren’t mind readers. You can be thinking one thing and believing that what you want and need are perfectly clear while the other person is on a completely different train of thought.
Because you’re not clearly communicating what it is you want, you end up not getting it. There is a way to get what you want as well as what you need. You have to be your own advocate.
No one else is going to speak up to look after your needs or wants. The reason that many people aren’t advocates for themselves is because they feel like by speaking up, they’re going to be seen as demanding or needy.
They don’t want to make waves or make the other person feel bad.
It’s not demanding or needy to speak up for yourself.
It’s a sign of power and knowing your own self-worth. Let those in both your personal and professional life know what you need.
It doesn’t matter if it’s something tangible or intangible. If you don’t let others know what it is that you need or want, then it will continue to go unmet.
Some people shy away from speaking up for themselves because they fear how the conversation might turn out.
They’re afraid that it will make other people view them differently. You can’t let fear keep you from getting what will be the best life for yourself.
It may be that you’re in a relationship and your partner never seems to notice that you’re overworked and stressed.
He or she has time to relax and go out with friends, but you don’t because you’re too busy taking care of responsibilities.
Your situation might be with a boss or coworker who is quite content to
pile work on you that’s outside the scope of your job description.
You take it on and you do it, ending up stuck at work for hours after everyone gets to leave and have a life. You might think you’re just being a team player, but what’s really going on is that you’re being taken advantage of.
One way that your internal radar tries to clue you in that you’re not getting your needs and wants met is through emotional turmoil.
If you get knots in your stomach because of a person in your private life or because of someone in your professional world, that’s a sign that something isn’t right.
You’re missing a crucial conversation between you and that person. Mind reading doesn’t work for you or the other person. It’s time to speak up and do what’s best for you.
How to Be Assertive without Being Overbearing
Now that you know you need to be assertive to get what you want, you need to know how to
do it without being overbearing. When someone is overbearing, they tend to act in a way that comes across as domineering, demanding and overpowering.
You don’t want to act like that - not when there’s a calm and professional way to be assertive that you can use. This way will work whether it’s for your private life or your professional one.
Understand that the conversation you attempt to have may not be the easiest one. You may know how you feel about it and you may have yourself under control, but you don’t know how the other person is going to act.
So keep in mind that standing up for what you need is not wrong regardless of how the other person views the interaction. First, go into the conversation knowing exactly what you want.
When you can define it, it’s easier to get your point across. Begin by telling the other person that you need to talk to them. Choose a quiet place away from distractions if you can.
If it’s a family member, make sure that you stay in control of your emotions. No one can push your buttons like family or an intimate partner can. Know ahead of time what you’ll do or how you’ll respond.
Don’t fling dirt. Don’t accuse. Don’t criticize. That’s pointless because it doesn’t solve anything.
All it does is upsets you as well as the other person. Tell your family member, intimate partner or friend what the situation is.
Don’t drag it out by going on and on in paragraph after paragraph of ranting.
Say something like, “This is bothering me and I need to clear it up so that I don’t carry it around with me.”
By using I statements when you have a conversation, you’re not pointing the finger at the other person.
Once you’ve stated what it is that’s bothering you, then say whatever it is that you need from that person in order to fix whatever the problem is or whatever it is that’s
keeping your need or want from being met.
Once you tell the other person what’s bothering you and what you need, then state that you’d like to know how it can be fixed.
That statement invites the other person to take part in the solution rather than you saying he or she has to do something in order to take care of whatever is going on or whatever you need.
You’ve made it a team effort that way. If it’s in a professional capacity, there is a way to communicate your needs or wants to your colleague or boss by using the same method. You state what it is that’s going on, what you need to have happen and how they think the two of you can fix it.
You might have a coworker who is constantly shirking responsibility and you’re having to pick up the slack.
So you would tell this person that you’ve done the work, that you’re not going to be able to anymore and then ask what solution could make it so that in the future that
wasn’t an issue.
You’re putting the responsibility back where it belongs this way in addition to getting what you need which is not to be taken advantage of by a disorganized or lazy coworker.
Report continued below...
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Its that time of year again, when we stock up on 2019 Planners, diaries & Journals.
The good news for Australian readers (and for everyone in countries that Amazon don't deliver to) is that I've started building up my Lulu store, so now you can order my books online to have your planners delivered to your door: See them all here >> http://lulu.com/spotlight/helenemalmsio
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the range at Amazon if you prefer using their service.
They work. They make you happy. Use them.
"Getting What You Need and Want in Life" Report continued...
What to Do If You’re Met with a Negative Response
In a perfect world, you could approach someone to discuss your needs and the response would be positive. The other person immediately would see that they need to do something or change their behavior.
Unfortunately, this isn’t a perfect world. Sometimes, when you have a conversation with someone else, you get back a negative response - even if your intention was to improve the relationship while getting your needs met.
This can happen if the other person feels like they’re being attacked. It can happen if the other person is too stubborn or too lazy to want to make changes.
It can also happen if the other person is so self-centered that what you want or need does not matter to him or her.
If you go to someone and tell them what you need and they say no, that effectively shows you that they’re not willing to even try. All you’ll do if you try to
convince them otherwise is get sucked into an argument.
If this happens to you, then you need to figure out what options you have. If there’s a need or want you have that you’d hoped to be able to communicate to the other person but that’s a dead end, then you have to be prepared.
You can choose to meet that need or want yourself. This may mean that you have to make some tough decisions.
If it’s an intimate partner who doesn’t care what you want or need, you should closely examine that relationship.
You’ll want to think about it to see if this is something that might change in the future. Is the no answer one that you believe is a permanent choice on their part?
And if you know he or she won’t change and try to be there for you, then you may need to end the relationship if the need or want is something that would leave you too upset or unfulfilled in not getting.
Is there someone else in
your life who can meet the need or want for you? If the need is an emotional one that you’d hoped to get from one friend, but he or she wasn’t willing, can you get it from your other friends instead?
Sometimes people react negatively to a conversation because they feel like they’re being attacked - as if you’re trying to say what they’ve been doing isn’t good enough.
One way around the negative response is to make it clear from the beginning that this is about you, not them.
But in the end, if negative response doesn’t change and you can’t get the need replaced by someone else, then you have to figure out if you can learn how to live without what it is that you wanted to happen.
Becoming Self Reliant Is the Best Form of Personal Satisfaction
If you’re not self-reliant, you need to be. Because if you aren’t, you’re subconsciously putting another person in the place of leader in your life.
You’re giving up control that not only are you capable of handling, but that you should be handling.
Self-reliance means you won’t be giving into to how other people feel you should live your life. When another person controls a portion of your life, they often feel they have the right to tell you what to do.
Not being the one in charge of your own life also means that the other person may think their opinion is right and you’re wrong. This will end up making you feel inferior about yourself.
Your self-esteem will plummet. Turning to other people for your wants and needs when it’s not necessary does more than to make you rely on them. It also breaks down boundaries that should be in place.
You should be self-reliant with your happiness and your self care - and you should own your emotions as well.
When you’re self-reliant, you don’t let other people determine whether you’re happy or sad -
whether you feel good about yourself or not.
Self-reliance means you get to dictate what you do, where you go and how you behave. You don’t have to jump just because someone else is in control of your needs.
When you’re not self-reliant, your future can be altered by others.
You might have a dream that you’d really like to pursue, but because you rely on another person and they disagree, you might end up letting that dream go.
When you live your life relying on other people, then you’ve lost your ability to steer your life according to your own terms.
You’ve absconded the throne of your own life and someone else is wearing the crown that rightfully belongs to you. Your personal and professional growth can become stunted when you’re not self-reliant.
You must make the choice that you’re going to be the one with the power to decide your fate. Otherwise, what you need and want will be
governed by others and you may end up living a life that isn’t truly yours at all.
You may be turning to other people for your wants and needs when you don’t even need to.
You’re capable of taking care of yourself, but you just choose not to. You might be turning to someone else to make decisions about your life.
You could make the decision yourself if you just take the time to think things through. Or you might go to a family member or friend for your financial need or want when you’re fully capable of taking care of it yourself.
But you choose not to budget your money wisely so you end up short. You might turn to other people for help dealing with your feelings.
You want them to hold you up emotionally when you handle whatever is going on yourself.
You just don’t want to do it on your own. You might be leaning on someone else’s skill or talent to do something for you when you have the
ability to take care of it yourself.
You can tell if you’re not being self-reliant by looking at your habits.
Check to see what you do when something goes wrong. Do you try to find a solution first or do you immediately call someone else?
When you’re upset - do you self-soothe or do you turn to someone else to make yourself feel better?
If you’re not self-reliant, you should work on this until you are. Becoming self-reliant not only gives you personal satisfaction, but it’s one of the keys to getting what you want need and want in life.
I hope you enjoyed this self help report and will put the information to good use!
You can learn more about how to use this self development plan sample to design your own self improvement plan of attack.... so that you are more active and in control in both life and at work. There is a ton of useful resources and training guides online at my website including learning how to do mindfulness to help level out your life, so please visit and have a jolly good look around at all the content subjects. You will learn a lot at my self help supermart - and its all free.
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Healthy Power Tip:
Cold and Flu
1. Proper hand washing: Rub your hands thoroughly with soap for at least 20 seconds before rinsing well and drying
2. Feeling sick? Take a sick day! It prevents the spread of illness and speeds up your recovery too.
3. The old advice to “drink plenty of fluids” is grounded in scientific fact. Drinking helps flush out your system and can relieve pain from sore throat, headaches and other symptoms when you’re sick.
4. Did you know blowing your nose can actually cause excess pressure to build up in your sinus cavities?
5. Sinuses bothering you as you sleep? Placing an extra pillow under your head can facilitate drainage.
6. Using antibiotics to treat viral infections like colds and flu doesn’t work and it can also reduce the effectiveness of antibiotics in your body for the long term.
7. Rhinoviruses (cause of the common cold) can stay on surfaces for 24 hours or more.
8. Washing your hands
regularly, keeping fingers away from your face and getting enough sleep are your best bets for preventing a cold.
9. Considering a flu shot? They are about 50-70% effective in preventing flu viruses.
10. Steam in a bathtub or shower can help receive cold symptoms.
11. Don’t want to take medicated cough drops when sick? Simple hard candy can help relieve cough symptoms.
12. Prevent the spread of illnesses by never sneezing or coughing into your hands. The next time you touch a surface like a door knob or telephone, you’ll pass on those germs.
13. The best way to prevent germs from spreading when coughing or sneezing is by doing it into a tissue and throwing it out. If you don’t have a tissue handy, cough or sneeze into the crook of your arm, instead of your hands.
14. Decongestants can increase blood pressure, so if you have any issues check with your doctor before taking a decongestant.
15. If you use a nasal
spread for congestion, consider a saline based one instead of a medicated one.
16. Got a fever? Drink more fluids, get rest and try some acetaminophen to ease the pain.
Your Free PLR article:
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"What is the Ketogenic Diet and Why is it So Effective for Weight Loss"
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"What is the Ketogenic Diet and Why is it So Effective for Weight Loss"
Here’s a simple truth that’s hard to swallow – most people who embark on a weight loss program will fail miserably.
Their New Year resolution of losing weight and getting fit is often left to with wither and turn into dust by March… and only comes back to life in December, in anticipation of the next New Year.
This cycle repeats itself over and over while they keep getting fatter and fatter and seeing no results or improvement.
One of the main reasons why people quit on their weight loss journey is because they don’t see results, or they don’t see them fast enough.
This is perfectly understandable because when you’re exerting effort and sweating your butt off, moving that needle on the weighing scale becomes an obsession.
It shows you that the juice is worth the squeeze… and progress will inspire you to stay on track and keep going.
* But, what
does all this have to do with the ketogenic diet?
Everything. The ketogenic diet is one of the most effective diets on the planet and has been proven to work. Millions of people have shed their excess pounds much faster with this diet.
It will get you results much FASTER. Now you’ll be motivated to keep going and will not quit on your weight loss goals.
The first step is to understand that you MUST eat natural fats to lose fat. Back in the day, it would have been anathema to tell people to use coconut oil in their cooking.
They’d gasp and envision impending heart attacks. Coconut oil was the devil incarnate.
This was erroneous thinking. Do you want to know the real culprit?
The commercially-sold hydrogenated vegetable oils that you see parading on the shelves in supermarket aisles looking all clean, healthy and golden – those oils wreak more havoc on you body that you could ever think possible.
Inflammation, obesity and many
other health issues are directly and indirectly linked to these supposedly ‘healthy’ oils.
The truth of the matter is that these oils will kill you slowly, while the fat in coconut oil will benefit you and help you to lose weight.
* How does eating fat make me lose fat?
For starters, you’ll only be eating heathy, natural fats. Secondly, you’ll be seriously restricting your carb intake.
If you stopped to think about it, most man-made foods are high in carbs and sugar. This is exactly why obesity has reached epidemic proportions.
When your diet is mostly comprised of fats, your body realizes that it has a constant supply of fats coming in. This makes it much readier to burn off the fat stores that is stubbornly clinging on to your belly and hips.
There’s a reason they call it ‘stubborn fat’… your body is fighting your attempts to get rid of the fat. It views your fat stores as ‘stored energy’ that could be used for future
needs. This is the body’s way of self-preservation.
When it sees that you’re constantly feeding it with ‘energy’, it will realize that there really is no need to ‘save for the future.’
* Ketosis – the secret to shedding the fat!
Once you get over the hurdle of getting 80 to 90 percent of your calories from natural fats, your body will enter a state of ketosis. Your blood sugar levels will stabilize.
Inflammation will decrease, and your body will be in a state where it burns fat for fuel instead of glucose.
This is the key to burning fat - to train your body to use fat instead of glucose for its energy needs. When you’re on a ketogenic diet, since your carb intake will be very low, your glycogen stores will be low too.
The body will not have access to glycogen and will have no choice but to burn fat for fuel.
On another note, the reason why so many people gain weight is because they keep eating carbs and when their
glycogen stores are full, the body converts the excess glucose to fat.
Now you’ll understand why the body treats it as stored energy. It uses glucose for fuel, and any excess glucose is stored as fat.
The ketogenic diet will put an end to this fat storage and turn your body into a fat burning machine.Do give it a try and you’ll be amazed at how effective it is. Don’t knock it till you try it.
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Well, well, so far December has been a real mixed bag with cold one day and then heatwave for a few days. Not loving it so far - LOL
I haven't yet gotten into the spirit of the Christmas Holidays... no decorations up, no baking planned either. Will be having a very low key affair this year by the look of it.
I like to keep Christmas simple, and if you strive to achieve this you may enjoy reading this online guide: How to Keep Christmas Simple
My wish for you is that you get to enjoy all the things you have been looking forward to this Holidays... and more!
Big news for me this month is that after 6 years of procrastinating, I've finally published my first three Adult Coloring Books! Woo Hoo - two dogs and one cat drawings books to relax while you color in!
And for those of you who want to journal, but also like doodling and coloring while you write, I've created a really fun 190 page Color Doodle Journal notebook filled with inspiration to be your most creative, without the stress of staring at blank pages, or overwhelmed by massive intricate coloring designs.
Lots of cover designs to pick from, from cute retro to sophisticated floral, to chick blackboards, you're sure to find one that resonates with you.
I was surprised to be told by friends here in Australia that they were not able to order my paperbacks on Amazon, so I've published about 180+ books on Lulu for those
people not getting serviced by Amazon.
Order online like usual, and you get delivery to your door, including Australia! See them all here >> Helene Malmsio / Strategic Publications
If you enjoy journaling and goalsetting/tracking along with financial planning, meal planning, and a weekly scheduler, you may like my 90 day perpetual planners!!
I've still been working hard all month on creating more planners and even beautiful wall calendars for Nami Kim for fundraising to help her rescue more dogs from the South Korean dog meat trade.
Dogs are friends, not dinner!
If you would like to see her Lulu store and see if her books resonate with you, please check it out here >> CLICK HERE to see Save Korean Dogs book store
The other new thing this
month is that I've published a new self help book for you to download in the next section below... it comes in all the popular eReader formats for all your gadgets!
And once again, thank you so very, very much to everyone who has invested in one of my books... I really appreciate your trust, and know that you will love the book!
And p.s. Any reviews posted on Amazon and Lulu would be hugely appreciated as well!!
Color Doodle Journal Notebook!
Do get yourself a beautiful and inspiring Diary or Planner. Yes, like one of the ones I have designed for you.
They work. They make you happy. Use them.
Click HERE or on the banner images above to see the full range, as I keep adding new designs every few days... and if you have the time, please do tell me what you would like to see included, so that I can meet your requirements!
And a reminder: "Power Tips" is here to help you learn and apply new self growth strategies. Are you getting benefit from these self growth reports? Most importantly: Will you USE what you are learning?
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May you always have Love to Share, Health to Spare, and Friends that Care!
Have a Laugh!
"Become a Child Again! "
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.
I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four-star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.
I want to think M&M's are better than money because you can eat them. I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.
All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.
I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that
anything is possible.
I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.
I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.
I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.
So . . here's my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, 'cause..."Tag! You're it."
Pass this to someone and brighten their day by helping them remember the simple things of life!
A wisp of wisdom:
"It is never too late to be a happy child"
Daily Self Reflection:
Brand New Self Help Report Download:
I've published a new self help report for you that you can download the zip file with a right mouse button click and "Save Link As" to your desktop to read at your leisure.
What's special is that I've formatted the report into all the popular reader gadget formats, so you can even read it on your smartphone as you commute to work or wait at the Doctor's.
Grab it here Achieving Life Goals Under Any Circumstances
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