What Will You Do When Your Friends Get Divorced?

When your friends get divorced, their grief affects you too. The turmoil in their lives places a great deal of stress on your relationship.

In fact, the average divorced woman loses 40% of her friends, according to one study published in The Journal of Divorce and Remarriage.

Even if you value your connection, it sometimes seems easier to withdraw. Socializing with someone who is suddenly single can be awkward. You might also feel like you're going to be pressured to take sides.

Still, you don’t have to lose a friend just because their marriage ends. Learn how to stand by each other during this difficult time.

Supporting Your Divorced Friends

The dissolution of a marriage is one of the most stressful life events. The Holmes-Rahe Stress Inventory ranks divorce second only to the death of a spouse. Be prepared for your friend to need you more.

Use these techniques:

1. Listen to them.

Give your friend an opportunity to talk about what they’re going through. Let them vent their disappointments and fears without being judged. If you’re unsure what they need, ask them. They may want advice or just a sounding board.

2. Stay positive.

You might think that blasting their ex is one way to demonstrate your loyalty. However, too much bitterness interferes with healing. Try to take a constructive tone or at least stay neutral.

3. Curb your curiosity.

Are you eager to hear the details about love triangles and heated arguments? Let your friend decide what they’re ready to talk about and what they’re comfortable sharing.

4. Invite them out.

Hanging out with happy couples may remind your divorced friend of what they’ve lost. Try to help them stay social, even if they need some time to themselves temporarily.

5. Bring food.

When you’re struggling to find the appropriate words, you can still show you care. Be generous with food and other thoughtful gifts. Give your friend a certificate for a spa day or volunteer to babysit.

6. Have fun.

Help your friend to continue enjoying life. Join them in doing their favorite activities. Plan a weekend outing or take cooking classes together.

7. Encourage savings.

Divorce is often very expensive, especially for women. Be sensitive to any changes in your friend’s financial position. Maybe you can help them economize on housing or transportation.

8. Offer resources.

Even if you don’t have a solution, you might be able to point your friend to someone who can help. If they’re open to the idea, suggest counseling or a job coach.

9. Be patient.

A divorce can impact someone’s life for years to come. Consider this a long process and remember that many adults eventually come out of the experience with greater happiness and wisdom.

Nurturing Yourself

Remember to take care of yourself while you’re looking out for your friends. Keeping your priorities straight gives you the capacity to fulfill your responsibilities and assist others.

Consider these ideas:

1. Set limits.

Any healthy relationship needs boundaries. Be specific and speak up promptly if there's any behavior that makes you uncomfortable.

2. Discuss alternatives.

Saying no to a friend can be difficult, but you can soften the blow. If late night calls are disrupting your home life, arrange a weekend brunch where you can chat more freely.

3. Assess your marriage.

You might have seen headlines that you’re at least 75% more likely to get divorced if your friends split up. This could be a wakeup call to strengthen your own commitment.

Your relationship may require more work when a friend divorces, but the results are worth it.

You’ll be able to keep someone you care about in your life, and you may appreciate each other even more.


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Cheers, Helene Malmsio

Related Reading: How To Build Friendships - free self help online guide

Why It’s Important to Have Healthy Friendships

Friendships are essential to our mental health and happiness. When things are going well in life, we often share our joys with them.

Conversely, friends can help us through difficult times by empathizing with our feelings and providing advice or simply listening. Having a solid network of friends can enrich our lives in countless ways.

However, most people don't appreciate the importance of friendship until theirs is damaged or strained. To prevent this, it's essential to develop and maintain healthy friendships throughout our lives.

Here are some essential reasons why it’s important to have healthy friendships:

1. Friends can make you feel good about yourself.

It’s essential to have friends who make you feel good about yourself. These are the people who will be there for you no matter what and will always have your back.

● They know how to make you laugh, even when you don’t feel like it, and they can help boost your self-confidence.

● If you’re feeling down, spend time with your friends and let them remind you of all the great things about you!

● It would be best if you also tried to be a good friend to others. Be there for them when they need you and help them feel good about themselves. Reciprocity is a critical component of healthy friendships.

2. Friends can help you through tough times.

Everyone goes through tough times in their lives. It’s helpful to have friends who can support you and be there for you during these difficult periods.

● They can offer a shoulder to cry on, lend a listening ear, or be there for you when you need them.

● If you’re going through a tough time, reach out to your friends. Let them know what you’re going through and how they can help.

● And, if one of your friends is going through a tough time, be there for them, too. Show them you care and offer your support.

3. Friends can broaden your perspective and enrich your life.

It’s easy to get stuck in your world. But when you have friends, they can help expand your view and enrich your life.

● Friends can introduce you to new experiences, hobbies, and people. They can help you see the world differently and improve your life.

● To broaden your perspective, build a diverse network of friends from different backgrounds and cultures.

● Be open-minded and curious about your friends’ experiences. You might learn something new!

4. Friends are important for your overall health and well-being.

According to recent studies, having healthy friendships is important for your overall health and well-being. Friends can help reduce stress, improve mental health, and boost your immune system. They can also help you live longer!

● Cherish and nurture your friendships. They’re good for you in so many ways! Nurture your friendships in the following ways:

● First, spend quality time with your friends. It means setting aside time to talk and connect with them without distractions

● Second, be there for your friends when they need you. Be a good listener and offer support when they need it most. Last, express your appreciation for your friends often. Let them know how much you care about them and how much they mean to you.

● Maintain trust and communication in your friendships, and you’ll reap the many benefits that come with having healthy friendships!

Healthy friendships are essential for your well-being. They can strengthen your mental and physical health, help you through tough times, and broaden your perspective.

So, cherish your friends and nurture your friendships! Let them know how much you appreciate them and be there for them when they need you. You’ll both benefit from having a healthy friendship!

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