Sometimes reality falls short of your expectations. You think you nailed an interview, but the job offer goes to another candidate. You’re excited about a new love interest you met online, but you realize you have little in common as soon as you meet face to face.
Setbacks are a part of life, but how you respond to them can soften the blow. Try these 3 strategies for dealing with disappointment.
We often make disappointments seem bigger than they are. Remove unnecessary stress from your life by keeping things in perspective.
Use these strategies to avoid seeing your disappointments as bigger than they really are:
1. Embrace change.
When you have your heart set on a particular outcome, you may forget that the effects are likely to be short-lived. What seems like a major loss today could be insignificant in 6 months.
2. Stay calm.
Any discomfort is easier to bear when you try to stay composed. Take a deep breath or go for a walk outside. Give yourself time to process what’s happening instead of reacting automatically.
3. Depersonalize the situation.
You can wind up feeling ashamed when you interpret a disappointment as being a reflection on yourself. Resist the urge to take it personally.
4. Be specific. Overgeneralizing is another hazard. Tell yourself that this is a single temporary event rather than a permanent downward spiral.
Fear of disappointment can sometimes become so intense that it holds you back from taking risks.
You’ll have a more fulfilling life if you can persevere even when things turn out differently than you hoped.
These actions will help you move on from disappointment:
1. Start small.
Bouncing back from small reversals will teach you skills you can apply to tougher challenges. Be grateful for opportunities to practice.
2. Learn from experience.
There are other lessons too. Disappointments can teach you more about yourself and what you really want out of life. You can use them to clarify your goals.
3. Find motivation.
Living through an experience you don’t want to repeat gives you an incentive to change. This could be what you need to point you in a more positive direction.
4. Take control.
While you want to avoid dwelling excessively on the past, there are helpful questions you can ask yourself. Determine what you could have done differently, so you’ll be prepared for similar situations.
5. Build your confidence.
Believing in yourself protects you from becoming overwhelmed. Think positive, take care of yourself, and keep adding to your knowledge and skills.
6. Cultivate support.
Having family and friends that you can count on for encouragement and reassurance helps too. Spend time with your loved ones and be open to honest feedback.
7. Seek counseling.
If a past traumatic event is holding you back, help is available. Talking with a therapist could give you new insights and coping skills.
Adjust Your Expectations
Are you seething with resentment because others let you down? You may be sabotaging yourself by holding onto unrealistic expectations that are too high or too low.
Consider these ideas:
1. Check your defenses.
Fear could be the reason why you expect too much from others. Ending relationships because you feel disappointed protects you from having to reveal yourself or build true intimacy.
2. Know your worth.
On the other hand, you may be dissatisfied because you’re investing too much in relationships with little reciprocity. A healthy amount of give and take is a reasonable expectation.
3. Advocate for yourself.
Maybe your relationships are basically sound, but it would help to work on your communications.
Assuming that others can read your mind sets you up for disappointment. Practice asking for what you need tactfully and directly.
Disappointments can make you stronger if you deal with them constructively. Persevering through misfortunes brings you closer to the success you deserve.
6 Habits That Prevent Happiness
While there are a lot of habits that will help to bring happiness into your life, there are also plenty of habits that will chase happiness away.
Some of the things we do each day make it very unlikely that we’ll experience happiness. You’re probably doing at least of couple of these things and never considered the negative impact that they could be having on your life.
Avoid these habits that can rob you of happiness:
1. Unnecessary spending.
One of the greatest stressors in life is financial issues. Happiness is harder to find when you’re up to your eyeballs in debt. General financial pressure is one of the greatest causes of misery and divorce.
Clutter is another barrier to happiness. When you spend too much, you have too much stuff. It’s always in the way and serves as a constant reminder that you spent more than you should have.
Think about the reward you gain by spending and find a less destructive way to accomplish the same thing.
If you want to make happiness a real possibility in your life, keep your spending under control.
2. Postponing your life.
We’re always waiting for something to happen before taking action. Whether it’s waiting for the first of the month to start a diet, or waiting for the kids to leave the home before starting an online business, we always have an excuse to wait.
There will never be a perfect time to take that big step. Manage your circumstances as well as possible and get started today. Time is the one thing none of us can ever get back.
3. Blaming others for your challenges.
When you blame others, you lose control. It’s not easy to accept responsibility for all of the unpleasant things in your life, but what other choice do you have? No one else is going to fix it for you.
Even if you’ve been used and abused, you are still responsible for dealing with the aftermath. Accept the challenge and move forward.
4. Not staying grounded in the present.
Most people have a bad habit of dwelling on past mistakes and tragedies and worrying about the future. The past is over, so leave it there.
Good choices today eliminate most future challenges. Focus on making the most of today, and the future will take care of itself.
Pay attention to your thoughts for an entire day. Notice how much time you spend thinking about the past or the future.
Think about how that impacts your effectiveness and your happiness.
5. Holding a grudge.
If someone has wronged you, you might be making a good decision by not trusting that person again. However, holding on to the animosity is pointless.
You just make yourself unhappy and less effective. Once it’s over, learn what you can from it and forge ahead.
6. Focusing on challenges instead of solutions.
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed if you focus on the unpleasant things in your life. Rather than do that, spend your time, energy, and focus on finding a way to make things better. You’ll feel better and be much more successful.
It’s easier to be happy if you stop doing the things that prevent happiness. We all pick up some bad habits along the way. The important thing is to recognize them and eliminate them.
Allow yourself to be happy by letting go of your anti-happiness habits. You’ll find that happiness isn’t as challenging to achieve as you thought.
Things Necessary for Success That Aren't Taught in School
Schools are great for some things, but not so great for others. You can learn algebra, chemistry, and how to swing from a rope, but how often do you use those skills in your daily life as an adult?
The things that matter the most for success as an adult are never directly taught in school.
Unfortunately, you’re on your own. You’ll have to take control of your own success education.
Practice these skills for success to learn what school never taught you:
One of the hallmark attributes of successful people is persistence. Whenever you attempt to do something difficult, it’s unlikely that you’re going to be successful right out of the gate.
Persistence is a necessary trait to possess if you’re going to be a highly successful person.
Do you maintain the same goals until they’re achieved, or do you keep changing your mind?
Can you perform the same boring, but effective, tasks day after day? Can you maintain a positive attitude? How consistent are you with your behavior, beliefs, and goals?
3. Daily work.
Are you doing something every single day to become more successful?
You can be amazingly successful with a relatively small amount of work performed each and every day. This can be more effective than doing massive amounts of work irregularly.
In school, it’s too easy to wait until the last minute to study or write a paper. Intelligent people can get away with this in school.
However, this strategy won't work in the long term out in the real world no matter how intelligent you might be.
4. How to deal with discomfort.
Your ability to deal with discomfort is one of the best predictors of the level of success you will achieve in the future.
Acting in spite of discomfort is what allows you to go to the gym when you don't feel like it. It allows you to take action when you’d rather do nothing.
5. How to deal with failure.
Life is full of failure. Successful people have an effective strategy for dealing with failure.
They learn from failure, improve their approach, and try again. Overcoming failure requires persistence, consistency, and dealing with discomfort.
Surviving isn’t the same as thriving. Take on the responsibility of learning the things that matter in the pursuit of success. No one else is going to do it for you.
Related Reading: Comprehensive Self development online guide
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