Can You Really Have It All?

Of course, everyone wants to “have it all,” but is that even possible? There are a lot of opinions on the topic. Some people believe it’s entirely possible. Others insist that you can’t even some close.

Like many things in life, the most reasonable answer is, “It depends.” You can certainly have a lot if you’re willing to make enough of a sacrifice.

Consider these aspects:

1. Decide what having it all means to you.

Everyone says they want to “have it all,” but what does that mean to you?

Make a list of everything that you would have to have and experience in your life on a regular basis to be 100% satisfied with your life.

Take all the time you need. Keep these categories in mind:

◦ Relationships
◦ Health and physical goals
◦ Possessions
◦ Hobbies
◦ Career
◦ Community

2. Notice the items that are under your control and those that are not.

Review your list. Divide your list into two columns: Those things you can control and those you cannot.

◦ You can’t control your spouse’s level of patience, tolerance, or their waistline.

◦ You can’t control every aspect of your children.

◦ You don’t have complete control over your career.

◦ You’ll quickly find there’s not a lot that you can control in your life beyond your focus, effort, and attitude. Worrying about other things is an exercise in futility.

3. You can’t have everything.

Time, money, and energy are limitations. Consider the items below:

◦ Committed spouse
◦ Active community members
◦ Committed parent
◦ Excellent friend
◦ Great employee
◦ Great boss
◦ Mentor
◦ Perfect neighbor
◦ Big house
◦ Luxury car
◦ And the list goes on
◦ Just reading this list can be enough to start an ulcer. How well could you accomplish all of those things and still enjoy your life?

4. With your idea of having it all, will you still be relaxed and happy?

A simple life leads to higher levels of satisfaction and happiness.

The more complicated your life, the less satisfied you’re likely to feel over the long term.

5. Life is about priorities.

You can’t have everything, but you can have a lot. The more you want, the more it’s going to cost you.

The more you want, the more complicated your life will become. The more complicated it is, the more scattered your energy and focus become.

◦ What are your priorities in life?
◦ Based on those priorities, re-answer the first item on this list.
◦ The more things you ultimately want in your life, the lower your performance level will have to be in one or more areas.

“Can I have it all?” is an ambiguous question.

Can you have it all if having it all means having a spouse, children, a home, a pleasant career, and a circle of friends? Sure. Can you have it all if you want to perform at the highest possible level in multiple categories in your life? Doubtful.

Having it all is limited by your definition of having it all.

There’s only so much time in a day. There’s a limit to how much anyone can do. Look at the most successful people in the world. Some other aspect of their life is usually a complete mess.

It’s almost a universal truth. Excelling at one area requires making a sacrifice in others. It’s up to you to determine how much you’re willing to sacrifice.

So, you can have it all, provided that what you want is reasonable, and you’re committed.

Harness the Power of Making Decisions

Decisions are the genesis of all the progress in your life. When you fail to make a decision, you’re just drifting through life.

Many people make poor decisions which take their lives drastically off course. Others make it a policy to avoid making decisions at all costs.

However, making a poor decision is often better than making no decision at all. Your life rapidly deteriorates when you don’t make decisions. When you make a poor decision, you can always correct your course.

See how decisions are the first step to enhancing your life:

1. Decisions allow action to begin.

You won’t take any action until you make a decision. And nothing happens until you take action.

Any changes or progress in your life occur as the result of a decision. When you decide, things can start happening.

2. Decisions give your life direction.

Once you’ve decided, you’ve started down a path. This is better than standing on the side of multiple paths and watching the world go by.

When you make decisions and follow up with the appropriate actions, you’re actually living your life.

3. Decisions minimize distractions.

When you can’t make up your mind, everything becomes a distraction because you have nothing to focus on.

A decision creates something to point your attention toward. Decisive people are more focused than indecisive people.

4. Decisions require you to evaluate your life.

Making big decisions requires you to dig deep and really examine your life, values, and preferences. You learn more about yourself when you make a significant decision.

How to Make a Wise Decision

Making smart decisions is important, but how should you make decisions? Most people are lured away from wiser decisions by options that feel good in the short-term.

For example, going to a party is more fun than staying home, studying for a test, and getting a good night of sleep.

Keep these ideas in mind when making decisions:

1. Know your values.

Know what is important to you, and you’ll make fewer poor decisions. Most people can’t list their values because they’ve never considered them.

2. Know your objectives.

What are you trying to accomplish? Which option available to you brings you closer to achieving your objectives? Which option takes you further from accomplishing your goals?

3. Rely on your experience.

You’ve experienced a lot in your life and have had the chance to learn a lot. Use that knowledge and experience to make more effective decisions.

Over time, everyone should be making better decisions, because they have more knowledge and experience.

4. Gather more information if necessary.

You don’t know everything, so there are times when you’ll need to seek out additional information. The more you know, the better your decision can be.

5. Pull the trigger.

However, there comes a time when you need to stop researching and start doing something. Give yourself a deadline to make a decision and stick to it.

Decisions have the ability to completely change the direction of your life. Give each decision you make the respect it deserves but make your decisions quickly.

If you know your values and goals, most decisions are quite easy to make. Remind yourself of the consequences of failing to make a decision, and you’ll be more motivated to just decide and move forward.

Have You Ever Been Without a Problem? Discover Why That’s Good

You’ve had countless problems over the course of your life. You’ve had financial woes, health challenges, relationship issues, weeds in your yard, leaky faucets, flaky friends, and mean bosses.

Maybe, you’re not even sure what to do with your life.

Have you ever noticed that once one problem is solved, another one magically appears in its place?

It’s not magic - it’s just that you can only recognize so many issues at one time.

For example, if you’re struggling to find the money to pay your rent on Friday, you’re not acutely aware that weeds are trying to take over your flower beds.

If you’re in agony because of a back injury, you’re not worried about the fact that you’re not living your life’s purpose.

You have an infinite number of problems just lying in wait for you to notice them. Surprise!

Discover why there’s always another challenge to deal with:

1. There’s a hierarchy to your problems.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs spells it out quite accurately. If you’re not familiar with Maslow’s work, it’s worth checking out. Your needs, from first to last are:

◦ Physiological needs: Food, water, shelter, clothing. It’s hard to live without these things.

◦ Safety needs: Safety and security. You don’t want others to hurt you or steal your stuff. But you’re not worried about them stealing your possessions if you don’t have enough water to survive.

◦ Social needs: Friends, intimate relationships, and feeling like you “belong.”

◦ Ego needs: Self-esteem, accomplishment, power, recognition.

◦ Self-actualization: Living your purpose, self-development.

2. Be prepared to always have challenges to deal with.

Perhaps it would be better to view them as puzzles to be solved.

3. The more problems you solve, the higher you get to move up the hierarchy.

Think of it as climbing a mountain. However, it’s a mountain that might require a lifetime to climb.

4. Determine where you are on the hierarchy.

Avoid attempting to move beyond your current level. You’ll only struggle, and you’ll fail to make lasting progress.

It also doesn’t make sense to try. Fulfill the lower level needs first, and then move up the ladder.

You’ve always had challenges and will continue to do so. Give up the idea that your life will finally be free of problems after you pay off your house, the kids graduate from college, or you retire. It’s just not true.

However, it’s not all doom and gloom. There’s a silver lining to this conundrum.

The Silver Lining

Your challenges also bring opportunities. Besides resolving the current issues caused by the challenge, when you overcome it, you grow. You discover qualities that you didn’t know you had.

Related Reading: Comprehensive Self development online guide

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Invest in your Personal Development and Self Growth!
by: Helene

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