Do You Have a Victim Mentality?

Everyone can claim to be a victim of something. Whether it's a bad childhood, a mean boss, or a nasty divorce, anyone can potentially adopt a victim mentality. Being a victim is a choice. A more productive choice is assuming the role of a survivor.

Why would someone choose to be a victim? It might not make sense on the surface, but there are several perks to taking on the role of a victim.

There are benefits to being a victim:

1. It's always someone else's fault.
When you're a victim, you don't have to accept responsibility for anything. Life seems easier when it's always someone else's fault. There's so little you can do.

2. Some people feel sorry for you.
Being a victim can result in a lot of attention being thrown in your direction. Attention can be nice. Who wouldn't want attention and sympathy?

3. Others expect less from you.
After all, the world has mistreated you, and you can't fend for yourself. You're either not a capable person, or the odds are so stacked against you that little can be expected of you. Lower expectations are easier to deal with than high expectations.

4. Others give you what you want.
With all the attention and sympathy you receive, some people are eager to help you out. You might be on the receiving end of money, favors, and other advantages. It's manipulative, but it can be effective.

No one can deny that being a victim doesn't have its advantages. However, there are disadvantages to being a victim, too.

Consider these challenges that come with being a victim:

1. Many people don't respect you.
You can't fool everyone, and many people have been through worse. For everyone that pities you, there are several that aren't impressed in the least. Playing small is hard to hide. Most people can spot your act from a mile away.

2. You don't respect yourself.
Down deep, you know you're being pitiful. You know you're capable of more, but you've given up. You've chosen to manipulate your way through life and indirectly asked others to carry your burden.

3. You give up control of your life.
You can't assertively manage your life and simultaneously be a victim. A lack of control is a significant contributor to unhappiness and depression.

4. You destroy your self-esteem.
Without self-respect, it's challenging to have a healthy level of self esteem. You might think you're being clever, but you're harming yourself a little more each day.

5. Others don't trust you.
Those with a victim mentality aren't reliable. They're too good at avoiding things they don't want to do. Others quickly learn that you're not reliable or trustworthy. This makes it hard to maintain friendships.

6. You have to avoid success.
Success would ruin your victim status. You have to keep a low profile or others will instantly expect more from you.

The downside to being a victim is considerable. You slowly feel worse about yourself while control over your life slips away. Others resent the way you approach life, and few people will trust you.

It's not easy to give up being a victim. There are benefits to living this way, but over time, the person that suffers the most is you.

A victim mentality hurts you more than it helps. Life is challenging, but it can be rewarding to face those challenges head on and to deal with life on your own terms.

Give up being a victim and take responsibility for your life. Show yourself and the world that you're a survivor!

3 Habits That Build Courage

Just like the lion in the Wizard of Oz, you probably have more courage than you think. While you may find it difficult to ask a stranger to stop talking during a movie, you'd rise to the occasion if a wicked witch threatened you and your friends.

In real life, you could wait for a crisis that will bring out the lion in you or you can start now to practice habits that will build up your courage.

Try these 3 steps that will help you to overcome the doubts and fears that hold you back from fulfilling your dreams.

Face Your Fears:

1. Reframe the situation.
The words you choose to describe an event can have a profound effect on how you feel about it. View challenges as opportunities and try to avoid exaggerating negative consequences. When you're stuck in a long line, think of it as a chance to catch up on reading the news.

2. Evaluate inaction.
It's natural to want to run away from the things that scare you, but avoidance comes at a high cost. You might lose a friend because you sidestep a sensitive conversation where you could work out your differences.

3. Manage stress.
Maybe you're not even sure about the source of your fears. Dealing with daily stress reduces your anxiety levels, so find relaxation practices that work for you such as meditation or listening to music.

4. Seek support.
Asking for help can be a sign of courage. Reach out to loved ones or a professional counselor if you need help.

5. Start small.
Major undertakings become less overwhelming when you break them down into more manageable parts. Work your way up to asking your boss for a raise by being more assertive in situations where you have less at stake.

Strengthen Your Purpose:

1. Dream big.
Courage expands your vision. Imagine what you would do if you could set aside any limiting beliefs. Find something that you value more than your pride or comfort.

2. Clarify your goals.
To get tangible results, it's crucial to translate your vision into a practical plan of action. Identify exactly what you're going to do.

3. Create a timeline.
You're more likely to stay on track if you decide what actions you will complete today or by the end of the month. Deadlines increase accountability.

4. Keep a journal.
Put your plan into writing and post it someplace where you can see it. That way it will stay fresh in your mind.

Build up Your Confidence:

1. Think positive.
Focus on what you have to gain. Use your self-talk to give yourself reassurance and encouragement. Identify areas where you want to make changes, and be willing to laugh at yourself.

2. Get organized.
Cleaning up your surroundings can make you feel more relaxed. Clear off your desk each evening and cut down on clutter at home.

3. Come prepared.
Doing your homework helps you to place more trust in your abilities. Research a company before going on a job interview or talk with a carpenter before tackling a home improvement project.

4. Stay fit.
Caring for your health and wellbeing is one way to value yourself. Eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly, and get adequate sleep and rest.

5. List your accomplishments.
Boost your morale by reviewing your track record. Your past victories prove that you can succeed at future tasks.

6. Stretch your skills.
You'll have more confidence in your abilities when you consistently work at increasing your competence. Take business courses online or study a foreign language.

Train yourself to be brave.
Learn to master your fears and persist through challenges. Enjoying a more meaningful life is the ultimate reward of building up your courage.

Learn more here in my online self help super-site about how to change bad habits to become happier in your life.

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