How Men and Women Over 40 Are Meeting Their Mates Online

Digital dating is often thought of as something more for younger audiences. With the most popular services, Tinder and Bumble, often appealing to millennials and young adults, it’s understandable to think this at first.

However, the more you get into online dating, the more you might realize that there’s a website or app for just about every demographic, and that includes middle aged to older people.

Many dating websites and services today either are fully dedicated to or have options that appeal to older audiences. The people running these companies understand that college aged people aren’t the only ones out there trying to date, but rather all ages of adults are.

That being said, the first thing you’ll want to determine is whether you want to use a dedicated older dating website or a generalized dating service. When it comes to dating sites that are specifically for those 40 and older, OurTime has emerged as one of the most popular.

It’s free to use, though there are upgraded memberships available with additional features. OurTime has become so popular because it’s able to focus on the audience that it’s trying to appeal to (meaning it’s able to help you find people based on your interests in particular).

Another popular service is SilverSingles. SilverSingles is a bit different from OurTime in that it’s a matchmaking service. While OurTime has you go through profiles individually to like or dislike the accounts, SilverSingles sets you up with other profiles that it thinks will make a good match.

It does this by using a computer based algorithm combined with the information about yourself that you give it. When you sign up, you take a basic quiz that determines your personality, interests, what you’re looking for in a relationship, and more.

Then the system matches those answers with other profiles that have done the same. If you’re not exactly keen on using dedicated over-40 dating sites, many modern dating apps and websites have options that you can use to adjust your age and the age of people you’re looking for.

For example, Tinder, one of the most popular general dating apps, allows you to adjust search results in the settings for distance, gender, and even age. It allows an age range from 18 to 55+, so no matter how old you are or how old of a partner you’re looking for, you’ll be able to find someone.

Common Problems with Surface Level Digital Dating

Digital dating has many pros and cons when you compare it to conventional dating. While it can be more convenient and easier to meet people, talking over text can have a lot of issues that can make it hard to communicate well and move on into an actual relationship.

One of the most common issues you might run into while dating online is catfishing. Catfishing refers to when someone’s profile and pictures aren’t the same as who they actually are.

You might find someone’s profile pictures attractive, only to meet them in person and see that they look nothing like that because the picture is old, or sometimes not even who you thought they were at all.

People often make catfish profiles because they lack confidence in how they look. Catfishing can be difficult to spot because you’re only looking at pictures they choose and talking through text.

If they put up fake pictures that they found somewhere else, you might have no way of knowing just by looking at it. Now, what you can do is try to use a reverse image search to see if those pictures come up from any profiles that don’t match up.

When you find out that you’ve been catfished, the best option to take is to cut contact with them. Another common problem that you’ll likely run into is what’s called ghosting. Ghosting is when someone you’re talking to suddenly stops all communication with you, and you’re left with a totally dead conversation.

This can be really discouraging, because you might think that a conversation is going really well until all communication stops. People have all kinds of different reasons for ghosting, whether they lose interest or get nervous, but it has a greater effect on the recipient of the ghosting.

The best thing that you can do if you get ghosted is to just move on. If someone couldn’t even give you the decency of telling you they’re not interested, then they weren’t right for you in the first place, right?

These problems and others can make it difficult to find a legitimate relationship through online dating apps and sites, but with enough perseverance, you can work through them.

It’s natural to be suspicious of certain accounts when you’re dating online, so be sure to verify people’s identities before you ever meet up with them in person. Not everyone is exactly who they say they are, which can lead to a lot of awkward moments on a first date.

For the Best Results, Visit Your Online Dating Profile Regularly

You shouldn’t bother to create an online dating profile if you don’t intend to visit it on a regular basis. A potential match who approaches you online won’t wait around forever to see if you’re going to be responsive.

There may be someone out there waiting for a response to a conversation or question. You may also need to update information about yourself periodically. Maybe you’ve just graduated from college or got a new puppy.

That’s information that people enjoy reading about and that could foster a response from someone reading your profile. There are also new matches that you might be interested in. It only takes a minute to check it out.

It’s especially important to check in to your dating site periodically if you’re new to online dating and need to become familiar with the ins and outs. You’ll want to become comfortable with someone before you actually agree to meet.

Keeping up an online conversation with a person of interest is imperative – and you can’t have long periods of non-communication and still feel comfortable. That doesn’t mean you have to stalk the person online, but do have ongoing conversations.

Conversing online is much less intimidating than meeting for a date before you hardly know someone. Just the extra small details you learn about the person during online conversations can make you feel more comfortable when you actually do meet.

Many of us have such busy work and family lives that it’s difficult to make time to date. Getting to know a person online is something you can do in your own time without taking away time from other obligations.

Then, when you do finally meet, the relationship has likely already progressed beyond just the mundane. The only way you can keep that flow going strong is to check your dating profile on a regular basis to see what might be happening.

You don’t have to waste your time going out to meet people when you clearly see online that the results will likely be a no-go. You can be much more particular in who you spend your time with – narrowing down the options before you make a decision.

One huge benefit of visiting your online dating profile on a regular basis is to discover things about the dating site. As you become familiar with the bells and whistles it offers, you may decide that it’s not for you or that it’s the perfect setup.

Getting to know someone takes effort, whether it’s online or in person. You can’t simply ignore a person you’re interested in and expect for some miraculous connection to happen. Visit your online dating profile on a regular basis to make it work.

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Cheers, Helene Malmsio

Related Reading: How To Do Online Dating Successfully

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