How to Deal With a Midlife Crisis

You know you’re not happy, but what can you do about it? You aren’t the first to face this challenge and you won’t be the last. There are several ways to handle a midlife crisis.

Consider these ideas:

1. Stay positive.

It’s easy to become discouraged when you know you have a challenge, but you don’t know how to resolve it.

That doesn’t mean that a solution doesn’t exist. You might not even need a solution in the conventional sense. You might only require a change in perspective.

2. Find a group activity that you enjoy.

Join a dancing class or a coed volleyball league.

Spend time with others in an enjoyable setting doing something you love. Branch out a little and shake your life up.

3. Look for small changes that can make a difference.

Is it possible that a new hobby or a new friend could bring about a change for the better? Look for small solutions that don’t require drastic changes.

• Your life might need a Band-Aid rather than an amputation. Look at small changes before getting carried away.

• Try joining a gym and losing ten pounds or taking a new position within your current company. Try a new vacation location. Reach out to a few old friends and reconnect. They’ll be glad to hear from you.

4. Think about getting professional help.

The right therapist is worth her weight in gold.

Mental health professionals are trained to help you navigate this type of issue. There’s no reason to tackle your challenge alone.

• The wrong therapist can cause more challenges than they solve. Not all lawyers or mechanics are equally skilled. Avoid believing that all health professionals are created equal.

5. Take care of yourself.

Depression can be a part of a midlife crisis. It’s common to let your self-care and grooming slide.

• Eat appropriately.
• Avoid alcohol and drugs.
• Bathe, brush your teeth, comb your hair, and maintain your grooming routine.
• Get sufficient sleep.

6. Keep your mind in the present.

There’s often little to be gained by dissecting the past or speculating about the future.

To do so in an intentional way can be helpful, but sitting around and ruminating can make your situation even more challenging.

Your solution lies in the present, so focus your attention there.

7. Decide what you really want.

You know that you don’t want what you currently have. That’s a start, but it’s not a solution.

What do you want? If you can make any change to your life, what would it be?

These are universally useful tips! A midlife crisis is similar to any other challenge in life that leaves you feeling dissatisfied.

A calm and thoughtful approach will give better results than acting impulsively.

Take care of yourself and stay social. There are plenty of things to enjoy in life.

Finding a Solution

You have a good attitude. You just need a solution. Finding a suitable solution to a midlife crisis requires flexibility, creativity, and an open mind.

It’s necessary to let go of the past and allow for an alternative you may not have ever considered.

Being too attached to a particular outcome is at least half of the problem.

Create a solution to your midlife crisis:

1. Determine the cause of your midlife crisis.

Put some time into this and determine the actual cause. There only a few common causes:

• Your own mortality.
• Aging.
• A perceived lack of options.
• Relationships.
• Children.

• Many other causes are actually a version of items on this list. For example, you might be an accountant, but always wanted to be a physician.

The issue is aging or a lack of options. Otherwise, you’d be able to pursue your dream of being a doctor.

2. What are you missing? What would you have gained if your life had been the way you desired?

• What would having children mean to you?
• What if you lived forever? How would that be comforting?
• If you had the perfect relationship, what would you get from it?

3. What can you substitute for what you’re missing?

If you’re upset that you never had children and are too old to start, what else could you do?

Maybe you could be a foster parent or volunteer with children.

• Once you know what you’re missing, search for an alternative that can satisfy the same needs.

4. Set goals.

Once you’ve determined a substitute, create goals that will enable you to accomplish your objective.

5. Avoid giving up. Expect some challenges along the way.

A midlife crisis can feel like the end of the world. However, a solution can be found if you’re open to other alternatives.

Keep an open mind and examine what you believe you would receive if your life were different.

It’s just a matter of finding something that can fulfill the same needs. Set appropriate goals and see them through.

Let’s look at an example.

Imagine that you’ve always dreamed of being a neurosurgeon. That was your dream from the time you were 9 years old.

You did well in high-school and attended a good college. You had the grades and test scores to get into medical school.

However, you decided that you were sick of school and couldn’t stand the thought of four more years, not to mention the 6 years of residency necessary to become a neurosurgeon. Now you’re 55 years old and work as an accountant.

Your dad just died, and it has triggered some soul searching. You’re finally faced with the undeniable truth that you’ll never be a neurosurgeon.

What can you do?

You already know the cause of your midlife crisis. You’ll never have the career you desire. You have two kids in college and lack the finances to attend medical school.

Neurosurgery residency programs don’t like older residents anyway.

What would a career as a neurosurgeon mean to you? What would you get out of it?

You decide that:

• You would be helping people.
• You would be respected by society.
• Your mom would be proud of you.
• You would receive a large income.
• You would enjoy the challenge of attending medical school and residency.

What is a suitable substitute?

• Helping others.

There are countless ways to help others. You don’t need to be a doctor to be helpful. You can volunteer or take a position with a charity. Coach a baseball team for children.

In fact, doctors can only help one person at a time. You can find a way to help millions.

• Respect.

Do you actually need this? Working on your self-esteem might be in order. A healthy adult isn’t too concerned about the opinions of others.

However, there are ways to be respected other than being a doctor.

• Parental pride.

Again, this is something that might not be as important as you think. Your mom might actually prefer that you had been a priest.

But there are other ways to make her proud. Just being a good, happy person is enough for most parents.

• Income.

A physician is all but guaranteed to make a substantial income, but there are even better options if money is a concern.

A successful entrepreneur, investor, or real estate agent can make far more money than any neurosurgeon even dreams of making.

There are other ways to make a lot of money that require less time and effort.

• Challenge.

Becoming a physician is challenging, but so are climbing Mount Everest, writing a best-selling novel, and starting your own company.

You might decide to start your own business that helps low-income families with housing.

You’d have the potential to meet all of the needs fulfilled by a career as a neurosurgeon.

• There’s the potential for challenge, excellent income, respect from your neighbors and society, and making your mom proud. You’re also helping others.

There’s an alternative if you’re willing to look.

Setting goals is the final step.

Did you find this post fun, informative and useful? If so, please share it with others!

If you have a comment, question or suggestion, please leave a comment below!

Cheers, Helene Malmsio


Related Reading: How To Reverse The Effects Of Aging

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