How to Develop Stronger Friendships

Do you sometimes feel like your friends are fair-weather friends or more like acquaintances? Perhaps they don't realize that you desire a closer relationship. To have a true friend, you have to be one yourself.

Cultivating these attributes will help you strengthen your friendships:

1. Develop the art of listening well.

Sometimes, just listening attentively to your friends will make them feel better about the challenges they're facing.

To listen well is to imbibe what is being said without thinking of what you're going to say in response.

• Perhaps when you listen, you're even thinking of how you're going to offload your own troubles onto your friend after they stop talking about theirs. That may be the last thing your friend needs. Listening well means refraining from interrupting your friends and giving them your full attention.

2. Be truthful.

True friendship isn't dependent on your saying "yes" all the time and overlooking your friend's faults.

Of course, while you're tolerant of their idiosyncrasies, you'll also want to support your friends in their personal development.

• For instance, if you feel a friend drinks or smokes too much, you can tell him so. Offer some words of wisdom. Most of all set a good example.

• Love can be both tough and gentle in its attempt to further the welfare of a friend. If your motives are pure, your friends will always be grateful, even if they initially seem to resist your efforts.

3. Be loyal.

Loyalty is one of the hallmarks of great friendships. Avoid gossiping about your friends and keep the secrets safe that were given to you in love and confidence.

Trust is the basis of true friendships. Treat your friends like you'd want to be treated.

4. Be supportive.

Help uplift them in their time of need. If your friend wants to achieve a worthy goal such as losing weight, giving up smoking, or taking up a new skill, offer them your whole-hearted support.

Tell them it's a good idea and go out of your way to provide them with the information or assistance they need.

• For example, if your friends want to lose weight, you can help by not indulging when you're around them and tempting them. You could even join them in their exercise classes.

5. Avoid arguing to win.

Trying to prove that we are right is the root of much of the disharmony we see around us. Arguments can make us feel angry and resentful.

Instead, just say what you have to say calmly and let it go. Letting go isn't the mark of weakness. It's a sign of greatness and humility.

• Agree to disagree. If you must argue, ensure the issue is important and your motives are correct. You're not out to prove you're right.

You just want to discover the other person's point of view and share your own. Most of all, you want your relationship to be better off for having had the conversation, just like they do.

6. Say "Please," "Thank You" and "I'm Sorry."

Be polite to your friends. Thank them for their company and their help. Don't be afraid to say "sorry," or "please," when required.

These three magic words can really help create harmony. They also show that you don't take your friends for granted.

7. Avoid taking advantage of your friends.

If you call them only when you need help or if you keep asking them for impossible favors, you'll come across more as a pest than a friend.

• When they do help you, ensure that the assistance they give you doesn't compromise them in any way. Show them respect and appreciation.

Watch your friendships blossom when you follow these strategies.

Being a good friend is not only kind to those who have chosen to be in your life, but also will yield more satisfying friendships!

Building Rock-Solid Friendships

Friendships are one of the most important relationships we have as human beings. Without friends, we would feel lonely, rejected, and left out.

Even in a marriage, we need friends outside of the relationship to fulfill our social needs or help us through difficult situations.

Building rock-solid friendships takes loyalty, trust, and honesty and it can't happen overnight.

Most people have rock-solid friendships with only a couple of people or a handful at the most. The truth is a friendship is about quality, not quantity.

Yes, you can have several friends, but most are merely casual friendships and don't have that deep inner connection.

A good example of this is Jesus. He had 12 disciples, but only three were considered as his closest companions, Peter, James, and John.

Jesus had companionship with all 12, but only three were truly close to him, like a best friend.

The Friendly Sacrifice

Being a true friend also requires sacrifice. In a rock-solid friendship, we may be asked to give up our desires for our friend's needs.

Our friend may need us when it's not so convenient for us, like in the middle of the night.

In a rock-solid friendship, this would involve sacrificing the comfort of a good night's sleep in a nice, warm bed in order to be there for our friend. But that's what friends do!

Give and Take

In a rock-solid friendship, there is both give and take. There are mutual feelings between the parties and it's never one-sided.

That doesn't mean that there won't be conflicts because we're human, after all.

However, when there is a conflict between two very close friends, the struggles usually don't last long because there is forgiveness, understanding, and communication.

• Forgiveness means that you let go of any malice or grudges and you move forward at peace with one another.

• Understanding comes from knowing your friend inside and out - knowing where they're coming from and knowing what they're going through.

• Communication means that you connect with your friend with an overall understanding of his or her relating style.

When a friendship is truly rock-solid, the parties are real with each other; there are no facades, no masks and no secrets.

There is trust, honesty, sincerity and loyalty, however, and this comes only as a friendship grows.

How to Connect With a New Friend

You may have stumbled upon someone new by chance or through friends and if there is enough common interest, you may decide to meet again. Sounds pretty obvious, right?

With each encounter you have, your relationship grows and strengthens. Then as you continue to get to know one another, the communication gets easier and you become more comfortable with each other.

The key here is that it can't happen overnight. If you try to force it, you may make the other person feel uncomfortable and threatened, so go at a smooth and steady pace.

Showing Your True Colors

As the friendship continues to blossom, casual friends build trust and loyalty through both the peaks and valleys of life.

However, it's in the difficult times that a person's true colors are revealed. When you're going through a tragedy, a personal crisis, or simply a rough patch, it is the rock-solid friends that are there to help lift you back up.

Friends Help Friends Grow

True friends help each other grow mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. A true friendship requires both unconditional love as well as tough love.

Building a rock-solid friendship takes time to achieve, but once you're in a rock-solid friendship with someone, you will know who you can trust.

Neither distance, nor hard times can spoil a truly rock-solid friendship.

Did you find this post fun, informative and useful? If so, please share it with others!

If you have a comment, question or suggestion, please leave a comment below!

Cheers, Helene Malmsio


Related Reading: How To Build Friendships And Maintain Them

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