Online Dating Tips for Introverts
Online dating may seem to have been specially invented for introverts – those people who dread going out to meet people. But even online dating can present some challenges for introverts and there are some ways to take the pressure off.
Many introverts are great when expressing themselves in writing, but lack the confidence to do so in person. That’s where online dating can come in handy to create a somewhat active social life without the hassle of going to parties, bars, etc.
In fact, most introverts much prefer getting to know others by way of writing rather than speaking face to face. They tend to be great at reading between the lines. But even online dating has its trials and tribulations.
To begin with, you should choose a dating site that you feel comfortable with. It might cost a bit more to join, but you usually get the quality you pay for. A cheap site might not be the best one for you. Experiment for awhile before baring your complete profile.
Try not to be too specific when it comes to your profile information. That said – reveal some interesting things about yourself rather than the same old – like walks on the beach. Maybe you enjoy skydiving or traveling to the islands. Make it interesting.
After you choose a dating site, take a close look at who’s out there. Look for profiles that draw you in. Be very selective in the process and immediately cull out those profiles that really turn you off such as party-goers and sports fanatics (if that doesn’t appeal to you).
Although introverts notoriously love to communicate in writing rather than in person, you’ll eventually feel enough chemistry that you’ll want to meet a person. Hopefully, you’ll feel comfortable with the meeting if you’ve spent some time online.
Choose a one-on-one meeting at a place where you are engaged in an activity, but still have time and solitude to chat. This is the time when introverts can make great impressions – engaging in real conversation.
Planning an activity for the first meeting is good because you don’t have to feel so much pressure to converse. And dress comfortably in clothes you feel good wearing. The worst thing possible is to dress in too-tight clothing or shoes that are killing your feet.
Online dating seems to have been created for introverts. Those who prefer their own company rather than going to parties and bars to meet others can take full advantage of online dating sites to become proactive to meet people rather than waiting for someone to drop magically into their lives.
Although online dating success may take awhile, be patient and don’t rush in to something that might not be the best situation for you. If you get tired of the process, take a break for awhile – then, try again.
Photos Can Make or Break Your Dating Responses
Experts claim that it takes barely a tenth of a second for a person to make an impression after looking at another person’s face. It doesn’t seem to matter how long a person looks at the face – the first impression is the one that’s likely to stick.
That makes the photo(s) you place on an online dating site very important – maybe even more important than what you make up as your profile. There are a few dos and don’ts you’ll want to consider before you make a decision on which photo(s) to use.
First, you’ll want to consider the amount of photos you place on the site. You’ll need more than one, but fewer than a dozen to make the most impact. If you only post one photo, you’ll seem uninteresting. Too many makes you seem over-eager.
You’ll want to mix the photos between full body, action and portrait style so the person viewing them can make a more accurate assessment of what you’re all about. A variety of photos where you’re dressed in varied outfits and poses is good for dating sites.
Make sure the photos are recent. Photos that portray you five or more years ago might be considered lying – especially if you’ve changed quite a bit. Your potential date won’t be too happy if you portray yourself as someone younger, thinner or shapely.
Red is the color in photos that works best for women. Men fare well wearing black or dark blue colors. Always avoid loud patterns such as Hawaiian shirts and include photos where you’re dressed up as well as casual.
If you have a pet(s) that you’re particularly attached to, include them in the photo. Statistics show that including photos of yourself with a pet can actually attract people and make them feel more comfortable to approach you.
Don’t worry if you don’t have an animal photo. It’s not a make or break issue, but it is another positive way that photos can make a difference in your dating profile. Including at least one photo of yourself with family or friends can also make a positive impact.
Photoshop can be fun to use in profile pics, especially if you tend to take photos that make you appear standoffish or downcast. If you do edit your photos, keep it to a minimum.
When choosing photos for your dating profile, choose only ones that are focused and clear rather than blurry or far away shots. Select photos for your dating site as carefully as you write your profile.
Really serious users of dating sites should engage the services of a professional photographer. It can take your dating profile to the next level and render many more responses than sloppily made photos that might present you in a bad light.
Consider your online dating photos like you would an audition. They will play a vital role in finding a person who truly connects with you. They can mean the difference in a potential partner skipping your profile or delving into it.
Protect Your Mental Health When Using Digital Dating Tools
There are many things today that can affect mental health, and it’s recently been discovered that the use of digital dating tools can also be a culprit. Since dating apps are now a normal part of the dating scene, it’s good to know how you may be affected.
The ability to swipe photos or profiles that aren’t attractive or rate them with a like or dislike can wreak havoc to your self-esteem. Singles bars and mixers used to meet others in the past tended to be superficial and only focused on looks and conversation.
Today, the digital dating tools used to meet others can rapidly become very personal and sometimes hateful in nature. This can cause mental health issues such as a decline in personal value and self-esteem.
Besides the regular types of rejection such as not getting a response to a message, there is the problem of being ignored or swiped away on a regular basis. Rudeness may also occur online much more than in brick and mortar dating sites.
The demoralizing effects of online dating sites are obvious and the results are beginning to show in responses of those who use the sites. One common technique that’s often used on dating sites is called ghosting.
Ghosting happens when a person you’ve been communicating with abruptly ends the progressing online relationships without explanation. This experience can be dehumanizing and affect the way you see yourself.
Also, meeting in person can be traumatic if the experience doesn’t go the way you visualized it. It may make you question how you look and interact with others and cause your self-esteem to lower a few notches.
Online dating may also cause you to question yourself about any connections you make on the dating app. The superficial nature of dating sites tends to lack meaning and depth and add to what is becoming a throwaway society.
It may also lead to anonymity and deceit because it’s so easy to be untruthful. Whereas in the past, we socialized at parties, met through friends and church or clubs where we had similar interests, online dating makes it easy to remain anonymous.
This type of dishonesty and treachery can lead to mental health issues. Self-doubt, emotional distress, fear of rejection and less trust in others can cause your psychological well-being to suffer.
While dating apps serve a purpose of connecting people who may come from different worlds and are possibly isolated and lonely, you should be aware of the other side of dating apps that could damage your sensitivity.
The bottom line with dating apps is that you should proceed with caution. Research those available to you and don’t settle on one until you know what you’re getting in to. There is good and bad in virtually everything – including digital dating tools. Did you like this blog post?
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Cheers, Helene Malmsio
Related Reading: How To Do Online Dating Successfully