Reading If You Have to Cry Go Outside by Kelly Cutrone
by Helene Malmsio
Wow... this first book in her series has also been crucified by amazon readers showing that 40% just don’t like this book at all.
It makes me wonder how these books become bestsellers ... It takes dynamite to get any readers to write a book review, yet these people all took the time and made the effort to blast this book and her second one.
Well, let’s see how I go with this one, shall we?
In her introduction she begins with a rather grandiose promise... “I want to help you awaken to your inner voice—the voice of your soul—and I want you to use it to chase your destiny, which I define as the greatest possible outcome for your life.”
If You Have to Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You by Kelly Cutrone and Meredith Bryan begins with the story of how she first moved to and fell in love with NYC and now operates her own publicity business there.
Kelly was very fortunate to meet a range of fabulous and successful people in NY that also became her mentors, so that she could begin to collect her ‘tribe’ of associates and valuable Mentors and build a fabulous life there.
“There’s a reason human beings once lived in tribes: it’s useful. (In fact, I believe the break- down of the tribal system is responsible for much of the sickness in the world today.)
Start by identifying people in your community you look up to and then, graciously and with their blessing, use their hard work and experience to your advantage. Pick their brains.
I can’t imagine anyone refusing to be a mentor if they’re asked in a spirit of sincerity and humility. And if you don’t see any of these people around you, do as much travel and research as you can to figure out where they might be waiting for you.”
But her marriage and her business all were based on shallow relationships and all was not as wonderful as it seemed.
The 80’s were wonderful in many ways for many of us, but there was little at that time that had any real foundation or would produce long term joy.
“No one had prepared me for the other side of this pretty picture. What happens when you do meet the man of your dreams - and then you get divorced? What happens when you do get your dream job? Then what? You just get a $100-a-day coke habit and work like a fucking dog all the time? Where was that book?”
But Kelly was to learn that this breakdown was actually a breakthrough, and began the journey of self discovery where she learned to craft her own values and beliefs rather than just living out what had been already decided for her.
The journey was not easy, but she could no longer deny the need for change. “Basically, when destiny calls, we don’t always go willingly. I certainly didn’t. But after losing everything in the aftermath of my divorce, I had a profound spiritual awakening that changed everything I thought I knew about myself. My life would never be the same.”
This spiritual awakening was a game changer and Kelly stopped taking drugs and got her life together.
“I’m not trying to convert you to my religion, or my concept of the Divine. I’m not the Mother’s publicist, nor does she need one, and I don’t think Eastern meditation is the answer for everyone.
... Women should spend as much time looking for a religion of their own as they do trying to find a hot guy to have sex with.”
And this time she would do things very differently both in business and in her personal life: “I wasn’t just accumulating status and possessions, as I’d done in my early twenties.
I now knew that I am ultimately here to take in the adventure of life and to know and express my highest self and best qualities, thereby doing my part to transform the earth.”
Kelly begins to talk about building your business, creating your personal brand:
“Once you have set out on this intuitive journey of dream inspired self-discovery, you must eventually focus. When you find something that feels right, concentrate on refining your skills and educating yourself about your chosen field.
Commit to it. You don’t have to do it forever—some people are meant to pursue several dreams in a lifetime—but doing one thing well will open doors for you”
And Kelly is strong on ethics and sticking to her values... not even tempted to court Donald Trump as a client when she had the opportunity:
“I knew what Trump could do for our business, but everything in me intuitively balked. This was not who we were as publicists.
If doing PR often requires losing your dignity, I was not prepared to also lose my integrity.
Trump might have been a godsend for our bottom line, and he himself might also have been one of New York’s most recognizable and well developed personal brands, but I still didn’t want that brand anywhere near mine.”
His current newsworthyness of running for US President is an extraordinary example of this man’s delusional self importance.
Kelly continues with her guidelines for building a career and common sense strategies for not being an idiot in the workplace.
And your behaviour on social networks is one of the most important publicly monitored platforms to be conscious of.
“The more successful you become, the more people will write lies about you on the Internet, both your own employees and anonymous commenters on websites.
Your success is an invitation to others to use you as a blank slate onto which they can project fears, aspirations, and prejudices.
And life is not kind or easy for women who are non conformists and who want to be leaders in their field. As the title says, if you have to cry, go outside.
“Throughout this book I’ve encouraged you to embark on an inner journey. But as you move closer to inhabiting and manifesting your true self in all its compassion as well as all its ruthlessness—which will inevitably bring you success in the world, regardless of your job—be prepared: there are people with Uzis waiting on the other side of the glass ceiling who want to kill you. Over the years the playground taunts leveled at me have only intensified. “
Overall, I think this autobiography makes for a good read about how she ticks and the expert tips she gives to women who are looking to grow their careers as publicists are no doubt valuable.
I think I actually learned more about personal development from her second book though. But this is a good guide for girls starting their careers.
Kelly Cutrone has long been mentoring women on how to make it in one of the most competitive industries in the world. She has kicked people out of fashion shows, forced some of reality television's shiny stars to fire their friends, and built her own company—one of the most powerful PR firms in the fashion business—from the ground up. Through it all, she has refused to be anything but herself.
She combines personal and professional stories from her high-profile gigs as Whitney Port and Lauren Conrad’s boss on The Hills, star of Bravo's Kell on Earth, judge on America’s Next Top Model, and CEO/founder of the fashion PR firm People’s Revolution
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