Reading: The Best Thing About My Ass Is That It's Behind Me

by Helene Malmsio

So what do you get when you drop a longtime self-loather into the glitz and glamour of Hollywood?

You end up with a fascinating comedienne and movie star, who shares her journey in the book "The Best Thing About My Ass Is That It's Behind Me" by Lisa Ann Walter.

Lisa is likeable and she's fun to read as she recounts her life story and the adventures of being in Hollywood.

Actress and comic Lisa Ann Walter dishes about parenthood and the dangers of girl-on-girl snarking, explains why skinny actresses act crazy, and gives riotous advice on everything from the dating mistakes we all make to ten things you should subtract when you weigh yourself (self-tanner and dental work, for starters . . .).

She also shares her sage advice by offering features such as ways to improve your self-esteem that won't cost you a dime

From the best girlfriend you didn't know you had comes this "I Can't Believe She Said That" guide to life in the real world.

AS Lisa says in her introduction: “This book is about forgetting that picture you’ve got in your head of how you’re supposed to look and be—the you that’s fifteen pounds lighter,¹ presiding over a Martha Stewart Living holiday table discussing island getaway options with Raymundo, your Argentine polo-playing lover—forget that you!

She belongs in a guilty-pleasure, chick-lit novel that allows you to project yourself out of the tiny, algae-coated pool at your garden apartment complex and onto a yacht on the Riviera. This book is about just enjoying the body you have and the life you’re in now. Algae and all.

It’s about just being the BEST VERSION OF YOU. Not perfect—but pretty darn good.”

I had to laugh about when she finally decided that living with a man who wanted to be gay was not a good idea, but it took Whoopie Goldberg to push her out of the marriage... because when the time came that I realised my first husband was a drunken asshole who would never be capable of any kind of healthy and respectful relationship, it took the actress Bunny Brooke to convince me to get off my ass and out of this toxic relationship.

“I finally moved out after two years of sleeping in separate bedrooms. Because Whoopi Goldberg said I should. That’s no lie.

We did my first big studio movie together and spent many long hours sitting next to each other yapping about life and such and I told her what was going on and she promptly tried to fix me up with every man in both the cast and crew and told me, flat out, that I was crazy to think my kids would be happier with a mom who was never going to get laid again.

I think, because it was Whoopi saying it, and you tend to believe everything that woman says—I moved out. I didn’t make better choices where men were concerned, but I moved out”

Chuckle. Yes, I also had to have a ‘movie star’ (who also happened to be bi – read the book and you’ll ‘get’ the reference) to dazzle me with her fame and wisdom.

Apart from her stand up comic career, Lisa also covers her many movies, and spills on who the sweetest movie stars are that she worked with.

This is a tough lady who has lived a tough career and has the bumps and bruises to show for it. And for someone who suffers from a poor self image, Hollywood and the whole ‘entertainment’ scene is not a kind place to be living and working in. Much plastic surgery and ‘tweaking’ has been done over time to her body and face.

“The only reason I ever did any of this stuff was as I mentioned the fabulous combination of self-loathing coupled with a desire to remain employed.“

There is a lot of background about her life, life choices, and the douchebags she’s had in her life.

But in Chapter 12 Lisa looks at a topic I’m also becoming very focused on lately. Young women, teenage girls who are just learning about themselves and life and the lies they will have to slay when it comes to their own self esteem.

Especially the lies that we older women (and mothers) are guilty of promoting to them.

I’d like to think that my work with personal development training and self help books is one small contribution to helping young women to learn the skills of self empowerment.

“Every time we are verbally negative about ourselves, we send a message to our daughters—or the young women we influence—that they aren’t OK just as they are.

Having a teenage daughter myself, I have an awful lot of regret for negative things I said about my body in front of her.

It is such a big responsibility and it has so much impact: how we teach our girls to feel about them-selves is a direct result of how we view ourselves.“
Lisa takes a serious look at how tween girls are looking at themselves, the crazy comparisons they make, and details some of the heartbreaking letters she’s received from young women.

Its painfully clear that women need to be much more accepting and supportive of our sisterhood, and break the negative downward spirals we’re constantly being sucked into.

I saw this movie years ago and find the quantum physics presented in it fascinating, so when she mentions this movie as a tool for helping to stop negative self talk, it really resonated with me.

“The quantum physics of how cute I look when I start thinking I look cute. And how everyone else thinks I’m cute, too, as a result.

My good friend Elaine Hendrix convinced me to watch the movie What the Bleep Do We Know!?—which she also starred in—so that I would stop hating my ass as much As I did.

Her idea was that the quantum hate energy I directed that way actually added to the size and/or quality of my butt. So, hating my ass was counterproductive, was her point.“

This is a movie you should check out if you haven’t already. You might even be able to view it on YouTube nowadays.

In summary, this is an autobiography which works hard to be a ‘feel good’ book for women of all ages and all stages of life.

Some of her experiences are eye opening for us non-entertainment industry readers, so that is a bit if fun.

It won’t change your life, but it is yet another supportive tool in your toolbox toward developing better self esteem and improving your self confidence.

It was a good read.

About the Author

Lisa Ann Walter is an actress, comic, and television creator and executive producer of programs including Oxygen network’s Dance Your Ass Off.

Best known for her work in movies like The Parent Trap, Shall We Dance, Bruce Almighty, and Killers, she is also a well-known name on the standup comedy circuit.

She lives in Los Angeles with her four children—one foot firmly planted on the red carpet ... the other in Costco.

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