Top 10 Reasons to be More Forgiving

It’s not always easy to be forgiving. In fact, there are times when you might wish the worst for another person. However, this is a mistake. So much time and energy are wasted by holding a grudge.

Most of the time, the other person doesn’t even know you’re thinking about them. They’ve already moved on.

It can be maddening, but there is an easy solution: Complete forgiveness. Challenging? Yes, but essential.

Why is forgiving someone so essential?

Consider these reasons:

1. Forgiving reduces anger.

You can’t be angry with someone if you’ve genuinely forgiven them. You’ll have much less anger in your life if you can be more forgiving.

Anger is a harmful emotion that rarely comes in handy in today’s world.

2. Forgiving reduces conflict.

The inability to forgive is the cause of many conflicts. You’ll enjoy more peace and less strife in your life when you forgive easily.

3. Forgiving is healthier.

Anger and stress are experienced more often, and at higher levels, by those that hold a grudge.

You’ll live longer and enjoy better health just by forgiving others.

4. Forgiving wastes less time.

Holding a grudge takes a lot of time and energy. All the time spent thinking negative thoughts about someone else could be better spent on your own life and goals.

You’re giving someone else your time when you fail to forgive.

5. Forgiving allows you to move forward.

Holding onto anger puts your life in a holding pattern. It’s hard to accomplish anything meaningful when your mind isn’t on your work.

Anger involves focusing on the past. Everything in your life only happens in the present.

6. Forgiving clears your mind.

When you fail to forgive someone, that person takes up a lot of space in your head.

The person and the offending situation intrude on your thoughts and degrade your concentration. A clear mind and forgiveness go hand in hand.

7. Forgiving allows you to make peace with your past.

We all have things from our past that could haunt us if we allow them to. When you forgive the people from your past, you’re able to focus on the present and the future.

Sometimes, the person you most need to forgive is yourself.

8. Forgiving allows relationships to survive.

Every relationship you have may become a source of pain at some point. As a result, forgiveness is an important part of all types of relationships.

If you don’t want to spend your life alone, forgiveness is necessary.

9. Forgiving increases the odds of being forgiven.

When you do something for someone else, you’re more likely to receive the same behavior in return. Forgive someone and you’re more likely to be forgiven.

10. Forgiving can be the best revenge.

There are some people that will intentionally try to hurt you. These are the type of people that want to see you suffer. They want you to dislike them and hold a grudge.

The best way to get back at someone like this is to just forgive them. It will drive them nuts.

Forgiving isn’t the same as forgetting. There are plenty of people you should forgive, but not allow the opportunity to hurt or betray you again.

One good example is an abusive relationship. Forgiving doesn’t mean returning to a dangerous situation.

Be more forgiving and your life will be much easier and happier. Holding a grudge hurts you more than it does the other person.

Remember, forgiveness can be the ultimate revenge.

Say Goodbye to Complaining

We complain because we hope it will lighten our burdens, but it usually makes them feel heavier. We start exaggerating our troubles, and our gloom spreads to those around us.

Pretty soon, minor irritations loom larger, and our health may decline.

In fact, a famous study by Stanford University found that complaining may be more dangerous than you think.

Their research showed that complaining shrinks your hippocampus, thereby reducing your memory and problem-solving abilities.

It also increases stress hormones that can cause you to gain weight and raise your risk for serious conditions, including diabetes and heart disease.

While it would be difficult to stop complaining completely, you can train yourself to complain less and do it more constructively. Use these tips to help you deal with dissatisfaction.

Tips for Complaining Less:

1. Monitor your behavior.

Studies show that chronic complaining rewires your brain so grumbling may become automatic. Count how many times a day you vent.

Keeping a written journal may help. Note your personal triggers and how you feel after you vent.

2. Cultivate gratitude.

You could also use your journal to increase your sense of appreciation, a powerful antidote to complaining.

Remember the things you have to be grateful for and seize opportunities to thank others.

3. Reduce stress.

Taking care of yourself makes you less vulnerable to complaining. Meditate daily or find other ways to relax. Learn to laugh at yourself.

4. Seek positive attention.

Do you whine to get attention?

You’ll probably attract more empathy and validation with a cheerful attitude.

5. Find new friends.

Griping is contagious. You may need to limit your time around others who tend to bring out your tendency to raise a fuss.

Surround yourself with positive influences and strong role models.

6. Set limits.

Set realistic goals. Challenge yourself to give up complaining for an hour at a time and then extend that to a full day.

Tips for Expressing Dissatisfaction More Constructively:

1. Focus on solutions.

Before you start venting, think through what you’re trying to achieve.

Pick areas of your life where you have significant control over the outcomes.

2. Choose the proper channel.

Think about your timing and ensure you’re complaining to the appropriate person.

Your boss will be more likely to modify an assignment if you approach them first and discuss your concerns privately instead of airing them on Facebook.

3. Manage your emotions.

Stick to the facts even when you’re upset or angry. Hostility and exaggerations could put others on the defensive and cost you credibility.

4. Assume responsibility.

Hold yourself accountable for your role in any situation.


You’ll make it easier for others to cooperate with you, and you’ll be able to see where you can make changes.

5. Be specific.

Resist the urge to air your grievances in large batches. Address one point at a time so others can understand your position and you can see if you’re able to make progress.

6. Open up. Chronic complaining crushes hope. Listen to others’ perspectives instead of clinging to your own point of view and be open to the possibility for change.

7. Take action.

Steer your discussions towards coming up with a concrete plan of action that you can implement and evaluate. Be prepared to do something about what’s bothering you even if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

8. Consider counseling. Changing any pervasive habit can be challenging.

If you’re having trouble breaking the cycle of chronic complaining, try talking with a therapist. They can help you form new and more rewarding habits.

Complaining reinforces negative thinking and compromises your wellbeing.

Train your brain to complain less and focus on solutions when you do decide to discuss your dissatisfaction.

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