Dealing with Your Fears of a Relationship
Starting any relationship brings with it an element of fear and the unknown. You may meet a co-worker who helps you get started in a new job and you want to become friends. Or perhaps your heart pumps faster whenever your friend's brother enters the room.
It can be overwhelming for some people and they avoid establishing a love relationship because they are afraid of the connection. There could be many reasons for this but the key is to know you can get over this fear of a relationship if you want to.
First, every relationship means a commitment of some degree. You have someone else counting on you now so you have to follow through on promises.
It's true this is a bit of a loss of freedom. Some people simply don't want to risk being hurt.
They protect their heart and keep their feelings hidden from others.
Studies have shown that in some cases fear takes over a person’s destiny.
These people are reclusive and can't handle even small relationships. Fear drives their every action and decision.
In order to conquer your fear you first have to admit that you are afraid.
Say it out loud, "I'm afraid to fall in love!" Often this is the hardest step in the process of overcoming fear of a relationship.
Once you open up and talk to people, you are well on your way to creating a new you for a new relationship.
After all, if you tell someone you are afraid that means you have given away a bit of a secret about yourself to another.
Hey, guess what, that's starting a trust and friendship. If you do not talk about your fear, there is no way for anyone to help you deal with it.
Maybe someone at your church or a family member is a good source of help for you. Talk with people and see what help they can offer you.
You know you aren't the first person to experience problems getting into a relationship.
Odds are that you are going to connect to someone who has been through the same thing. They can offer you expert advice.
If you do not get any answers from your support system, look for fear related discussion groups.
You can do a search on the Internet to find groups in your area. This puts you in touch with people that are suffering the same way that you are.
One word of caution. Don't try dating while you are new to overcoming your fears. You are not confident yet and this is going to set you up for failure.
If you are not happy and content with your individual life, you cannot give your whole self to a relationship and be completely happy with another person.
Take baby steps in your new relationship before you begin dating.
Ask your new friend to help you with something, go for a short walk somewhere not too private, like the shopping mall. Find out what your friend likes to do, hobbies and favorite foods.
Spend a lot of time learning about your friend and try not to get all chatty about yourself.
People are able to overcome insurmountable illnesses and situations. You can overcome and live a happy, fulfilled life.
Realize you have this fear, say it out loud and talk to someone who can help you get beyond this darkness.
Soon you’ll be ready to commit to love and give all your heart to another.
I hope that you have found some helpful tips here for how to build a lasting relationship.
But you always need to keep learning and researching for more help and expert guidance if you want to keep things fresh and current.
If you need help in your communicating you can also get more help here for how to improve relationship communication.
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