How Confident Are You - Is Having an Ego Good or Bad?
by Helene Malmsio
Having healthy self esteem leads to being more confident and expecting the best in life for yourself. But having a blown out ego can be incredibly self-destructive.
Living with self delusion can lead to making terrible life decisions with tough consequences... but is being meek and mild with no self belief, a better way to be?
This is a challenging question. There is a perfect example to demonstrate both the positive and negative effects of having a significant ego.
The president of the United States, Donald Trump, is well known for having a large ego.
On the one hand, he did manage to become a billionaire and the president. On the other hand, he can’t get enough attention, praise, or adulation to ever be happy.
His ego has also caused him a lot of challenges.
So, is having a big ego good or bad?
Well, it may be that it largely depends on what’s important to you!
A big ego can lead to big success.
You’re unlikely to ever become a national level politician, a CEO, or succeed in any highly competitive field without a big ego.
Big egos love to outdo the competition. So, an ego can be invaluable when the competition is fierce.
Those with big egos are often so pleased with themselves that they don’t allow silly obstacles to stand in their way.
They think they can do anything, so why would an obstacle be a significant issue?
A big ego can allow you to set huge goals and believe that you can achieve them.
The unreasonable level of confidence that often accompanies a big ego can be an asset.
However, there are also disadvantages to having a big ego:
1. You’re often too concerned about the opinions of others.
While some people with big egos couldn’t care less what others think, others are obsessed with the opinions of others.
A big ego can suffer big pain when it’s not appreciated as much as it thinks it should be.
2. You’re never satisfied.
An ego is a hungry beast that’s never full. You can’t do enough to satisfy a big ego.
It always wants more. Whether it’s power, money, attention, or praise, it can’t get enough.
3. It can be detrimental to those around you.
Your ego can harm the people around you, which is the biggest reason why many people avoid egotistical people.
When you’re focused on yourself and satisfying your ego, others are just a means to an end.
4. Your ego can blind you to the truth.
Your ego lies to you. You can’t see the truth, because your ego greatly influences your perception.
5. Your ego can make you afraid of failure.
An overactive ego likes to protect itself. It’s your ego that makes you uncomfortable when you want to try something new.
It’s your ego that tries to stop you from talking to the beautiful woman or the handsome man.
Your ego can be a good thing, or a negative thing, depending on the situation. Your ego can make you sensitive to failure or overconfident in your abilities.
Your ego can drive you to be successful, but it can also harm those you care about the most. Be aware of your ego and how it influences your behavior and your goals.
An out of control ego can make you very successful, but it can also make you miserable.
There’s a middle ground where you have enough of an ego to have some confidence in yourself, but you can also be happy without becoming the emperor of the universe.
Find a level of confidence and ego that works for you. And don't be like Donald!
So, OK, I admit that don't like trump in any way shape or form... but putting that aside, lets have a look at how the effects of "Fake it till you Make it" self-delusion in the form of "Positive Delusions" may actually be of use to to you build your self belief and ability to reach your goals.
A positive delusion could be viewed as merely a very strong form of 'positive attitude'.
Now, you might think that’s just being inaccurate and lying to yourself. You might be right, but the science is clear on this matter.
Studies have shown that people who overestimate their skills, abilities, and talents for a new endeavor ultimately perform at a higher level than those that are more realistic or pessimistic about succeeding at that endeavor.
Those that overestimate their abilities learn skills better and are more successful. This isn’t too surprising.
If you don’t think you’re good at something and that you can’t learn to do it well, you’re going to be less motivated and engaged in learning that activity.
Conversely, if you expect the best, you’re going to jump in and get busy mastering that new skill.
With high expectations - even unjustly high expectations - you’re greatly enhancing your odds of success.
1. Positive delusions give hope.
When you tell yourself, “Things will improve if I just hang in there,” you give yourself the hope you require to keep trying and to persevere.
It’s always possible that things won’t improve, but if you believe they will, you give yourself a much better chance of success.
2. Assuming the best can allow you to take action.
When you have high expectations, you put yourself in the position to take action.
Whether you’re interested in learning to play the banjo or talking to an attractive stranger, you can move forward if you believe that something positive will happen.
If you had low expectations, would you be willing to take action?
3. Keep in mind that most of your beliefs are at least partially delusional.
Your knowledge and interpretations of your past experiences are far from perfect.
There’s little that you believe to be true that’s actually true. We’re all operating under various delusions.
4. Limit your negative self-talk.
Negativity kills. It kills your spirit, motivation, and future.
Put a damper on negative self-talk before it has a chance to gain momentum. Once it begins, immediately turn your attention to something else.
5. Think about the kind of person you want to become.
Consider the goals you have in your life and think about what type of person you need to be in order to attain those goals.
What qualities and characteristics do you need to possess? See yourself as already having those qualities.
6. Visualize success.
One of the easiest ways to create a positive delusion is to visualize yourself succeeding. Imagine overcoming every possible obstacle.
Imagine yourself confidently achieving success. This is one of the best ways to use positive delusions to your advantage.
Being optimistic and overestimating your abilities can be very effective in the long term.
Give yourself the benefit of the doubt on a regular basis and see how it affects your life.
If you have a comment, question or suggestion, please leave a comment below!
Cheers, Helene Malmsio
Related Reading: https://www.discoveryhub.net
#Books #selfhelp #selfimprovement
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