The Key to a Lasting Marriage

This quotable marriage quote from Rabbi Barnett R. Brickner proves to be very true, “Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate."

Through years and years of romance novels, love ballads, and picture perfect movies, people have been brainstormed to believe that a perfect mate exists somewhere out there just waiting to be swept off their feet, or just suddenly walk in on a galloping horse complete with shining armor.

But then again, after settling and being married for quite sometime, romance seems to fade a little each time, the spark seems to go a little duller each time, and then the mate you have looked upon before as someone so right and perfect, turns out to be not so right and perfect after all.

Most married couples get too overwhelmed with the idea that they have found the right person, which often leave them unmotivated to exert extra effort to keep the fire of love and romance aflame in their relationship.

Remember, the years of being together in marriage don’t prove that you are already totally in tune with each other's emotions or completely know all about your mate's deepest thoughts and feelings.

Being married is a constant and continuous learning process of how to become the right and perfect mate for your beloved spouse. And this is the key to a lasting and satisfying married life.

Along the way, married couples may think that the relationship no longer has room to flourish or grow. Well, this is not true.

As long as there is a genuine interest in keeping the relationship constantly new and fresh, spouses will always find a way to get through it.

A great way to improve on your married life when things seemed to have hit a dead end is to cultivate your interests.

These interests may include a shared interest of you and your partner, and could also be you and your partner's individual interest.

In this way, the strain of being predictable and unexciting is somehow prevented.

How do you do this?

1. Cherish you and your spouse's compatibility in every way possible.

Exert a genuine effort to seek out and discover the things that you and your spouse are interested.

This will definitely please and delight both of you to know that you are really a strong team with the many interests and characteristics that you share in common.

2. Be a friend to your spouse.

The quickest way to improve on your marriage is to show a keen interest in your partner's life.

As the Roman poet Syrus puts it, "We are interested in others when they are interested in us".

Ask questions about your partner's dreams. It would most definitely honor and compliment them to know that you are interested in your partner's innermost thoughts.

3. Make a list of recreational activities that your partner is inclined to.

Try to make it as long as possible. And then, circle out the activities that you sincerely think you will find pleasurable as well.

Of course, there would most probably at least half a dozen of the listed activities that you can enjoy doing with your partner. The next task is to schedule these activities into you and your partner's recreational time.

Nothing beats spending quality time with your spouse!

4. Keep your spouse interested in you.

As the years of marriage grow people tend to be less mindful of who they were prior to getting into the relationship.

Married people become dull people because they fail to cultivate their own personal interests and get totally engrossed in their partner's affairs or about the family in general.

Neglect of one's personal pleasures and interest will slowly blunt the once sharp and wonderful personality of an individual.

It is also a must for one to find ways to keep the spark of life within ablaze. Get into a hobby. Or maybe do activities that you enjoy doing by yourself by finding some alone time.

This will not only be a great way to de-stress, but will also help improve your marriage by bringing something interesting into the family with the new things you learn through your personal recreational projects.

I hope that you have found some helpful tips here for how to build a lasting relationship.

But you always need to keep learning and researching for more help and expert guidance if you want to keep things fresh and current.

If you need help in your communicating you can also get more help here for how to improve relationship communication.

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