Your Internal Critic is a Misguided Attempt at Protecting You
All too often, people get that nagging feeling whenever they consider doing something important that they probably won’t succeed. They believe that it’s probably best to just not try in the first place to save themselves from embarrassment, disappointment, or sadness.
However, this nagging feeling is incredibly misguided. It sounds good at first to want to protect yourself from negative feelings like disappointment, but it’s really not quite what it sounds like.
In actuality, all you’re doing is stopping yourself from taking any risk at all that might have a really good outcome, which prevents you from being as successful as you’d like to be.
While it’s natural to be a bit wary when it comes to taking risks, you can’t let that wariness overtake you. Even with significant risks, you have to be able to think about both sides of the spectrum, ranging from being all for it to not doing anything at all.
Neither extreme is necessarily the best course of action, but you still have to be reasonable about it. Instead of talking yourself out of doing something, you need to learn how to take it head on.
It might not always work out. However, that doesn’t mean you didn’t try, and that’s way more important for success than the actual failure or completion.
If you at least attempt something, then you can rest easier knowing how that situation actually worked out.
Otherwise, you might go on for years wondering about what you could’ve done. If you want the best chance possible at becoming successful, you need to get out of that fearful mindset.
You can’t be afraid of failures or obstacles because they do exist, and you’ll most certainly run into them at some point.
The sooner you can get over this idea that one failure means your entire shot at success is over, the sooner you can start actually working towards your goals.
Learn how to silence that critic and replace it with words of encouragement. You will miss out on so many opportunities if you choose to take complete inaction just for the sake of not feeling a little upset for a short period of time.
Those feelings of embarrassment or disappointment are uncomfortable, but they subside a lot quicker than you might think they do.
Once you start learning how to deal with a little bit of failure, you’ll be opening up a lot of doors.
Gain Respect for Yourself If You Want It from Others
Many people today often joke about themselves in a negative manner. They’ll joke with each other about how lazy they are, how they’re below average all around, and how they’ve got mental problems like depression.
This might seem all fine and good at a surface level, as if it were all nonsense, but there’s an underlying issue with it.
It doesn’t make you look or feel good. Imagine if someone were to come up to you and tell you that you were lazy, boring, and uninteresting.
You would likely feel fairly offended by that, even if you often made similar remarks about yourself anyway. When you portray yourself to the outside world as weak or unremarkable, even in a joking manner, they’ll start to look at you that way.
At that point, people will have a more difficult time respecting you – whether it’s a potential life partner or an employer.
You know yourself better than anyone else, so if you can’t even manage to respect yourself, then who can?
People won’t often look past a gloomy exterior and try to find a bright personality. It might sound unfortunate, but many judgements happen at the surface level, especially first impressions.
You can start respecting yourself more by taking pride in the little things, because they add up and they most certainly do matter.
It might seem stupid to take pride in yourself for getting to work on time each day, but if you’ve struggled with that in the past, then you’re making improvements.
Start to gain a level of respect for yourself for overcoming any obstacles, literal or mental, that you face, no matter how small or large they may be.
Once you start to work your way up and build a sense of respect for yourself, you’ll start to develop a few other noticeable changes.
You’ll almost certainly be more confident, because if you respect yourself, you won’t want to take any slack from anyone else.
Confidence is one of the most important qualities in a person that people not only respect, but also take notice of.
Another highly sought after change you might undergo is getting more in shape. If you respect yourself, you’ll likely want to take care of your body, which means you’ll be more inclined to exercise and eat cleaner meals.
This can help reduce stress immensely, but can also make you command more respect from those around you.
What Makes Someone Worthy of Success?
Feeling unworthy is a common emotion. Many people experience this in many areas of their lives. One of these areas is success. You might be someone who doesn’t feel worthy of success.
You feel that way because you don’t feel that you’ve done enough to deserve what you really want. You feel inferior. Not good enough. You’ve fallen short. You have very little, if any, self-confidence.
You feel this way because you’ve judged yourself and see all the ways that you believe you don’t measure up.
You tell yourself that you can’t accomplish what you want, that you’re a failure, that you’re not good enough.
You feel as if others might deserve success - but not you. Feelings of unworthiness aren’t accumulated in a single day. They’re the product of conditioning. People who feel unworthy have been taught this.
They’re either taught by situations they’ve been through with judgment from others - or by their inner critic. The basis of this is found in experiences that negatively affected you.
You could have been taught unworthiness by a parent, colleagues, a boss, a spouse or some other loved one.
These experiences will cause you to look at yourself with a jaded eye because you internalize their wrong beliefs.
Even though what others think and believe about you isn’t the truth, you can’t see past their perceptions or the perceptions that you’ve created about yourself. You believe you simply don’t deserve to be successful.
Many people who believe this will subconsciously sabotage their own success, which then feeds into the wrong belief system. But you don’t have to allow this to continue. You can feel worthy.
You can have success in whatever effort you seek. What it will take to make you feel worthy of success is both easy and difficult at times. Easy moments will occur because it’s something within your control.
Difficult moments will happen because it will require that you look inward and maybe deal with things that are painful.
It all begins by dismantling the wrong beliefs that you’ve been taught or have taught yourself.
You do this by facing and silencing the inner judge. You have to take each limiting belief and trace it back to its roots.
You need to examine yourself and figure out where the beliefs stemmed from that have caused you to feel unworthy.
Once you realize where the feelings of unworthiness come from, get rid of the wrong beliefs about yourself by replacing that learned influence with something that’s affirming.
Don’t compare your worth to the perceived worth of others.
What you see on the outside of someone else’s life isn’t what’s going on inside.
Let go of grudges that you hold against yourself for things you didn’t do or did do that you regret.
And finally, remember to separate success from feelings.
Success is something you do or achieve. It’s not who you are and doesn’t define your worth.
Related Reading: How to Build Self Confidence
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