Reclaiming My Personal Power in 2014 - Session 7 & 8
by Helene Malmsio
(Maryborough, Vic - for the time being)
Discovering what is your own Hierarchy of Values helps you to work out what are the drivers in what you do in life.
Most of life is spent trying to avoid major pain, and instead gain pleasure, right?
So your brain evaluates your every decision and step you take.
"Have I been here before? What happened? Did it result in pain or pleasure?" The answers to this inner chatter is what makes you decide if you go ahead or pull back from the step you want (or thought you wanted) to take to improve your life.
So, why would you NOT want to do something that you know is a positive thing to do?
Well, it all depends on what you think or believe about this step and the outcome, based on your previous actions, failures and how you feel about them.
Your Values and Beliefs drive you every day, all day.
Moving toward Values What things create pleasure in your life? Knowing what values you have makes it easier to set your goals so that the pull you toward success.
Moving away from Values... States you want to avoid eg: frustration, anger, humiliation, depression, pain, embarrassment etc.
"All decision making is nothing but Values clarification"
How would you answer if faced with an invitation to go sky diving or bungee jumping?
If your values are based around Adventure, you would probably say "HooRaa! I'm in". But if your number one value of life was safety or security, you would probably happily pass on that offer.
Ask yourself "What's most important to me in ....." for all the aspects of life that make you feel good and feel successful. What is most important to you in you car? It may be that the car gives you a sense of convenience or Freedom, or it may be that you enjoy a sense of Danger and speed, or that you want a sense of prestige - feeling wealthy, or if you want to collect them it could be that you want a sense of belonging - being part of a club or association.
A CAR is not just a car...it is a 'vehicle' you use toward achieving the feeling/emotion/end result that you crave.
And then look at whether it is a means or an end.
eg: you don't want 'money'.... noooo, you don't want piles of paper - what you want is what money can get you. You want the Choices that money gives you.
Money is the MEANS... what you need to know is the END goal or as I say, the ESSENCE of what you really want to have, do, enjoy, donate, create, and feel.
This is an amazing session that cannot be covered in this little page. You need to get into it and dedicate the time and workshop it, to learn about yourself.
Work it out around your FEELINGS to all the suggestions, and from there you drill it down to learning which life Values are your own personal driving force.
These work with your Key Beliefs about Life in general, to tell you what you 'deserve' in Life, what you should expect from life, as you try to make changes and improvements especially.
Two kinds of Beliefs:
1. Global beliefs - generalizations like "Life is...." and "People are...." or statements like "I am..."
2. Rules are conditional ideas, like "If ... this .... then .....that..."
These colour your world view and your expectations of life and people, and what kind of success you assume you can realistically achieve.
My Moving Toward Values:
My Moving Away from Values:
I already know that I move towards Security, and am not attracted to Adventure
My beliefs were largely shaped by my parents, and often clashed between them - lol!
As an adult I have created my own sets of beliefs to operate from, but they are flexible and will change according to circumstances.
When you are easily succeeding in one area, you develop a set of beliefs about always achieving your goals in that aspect. When circumstances change later on and you start to 'fail' in that same area, you automatically begin to establish a new set of beliefs about that same thing.
To turn that around and once again go back to being able to get that done successfully and 'win' again, you need to learn a new way of thinking and believing about that outcome.
Everyone needs to look at their Beliefs and see if they are supportive or in conflict. Imagine your values and beliefs clashing... and you trying to achieve goals that are incompatible with your beliefs and/or Values.
They will not happen. Not without a world of pain. Your inner self will fight your conscious self every step of the way.
BIG SESSION in #7, lots to look at in what drives you and what your conditioning is, your values are, and your Beliefs are.
Helps you understand why you react to certain actions or events in certain ways.
Teaches you to look at creating new rules in your life, by creating or adopting more effective beliefs and actions to at least not create constant conflict in yourself as you go through life and trying to succeed in your goals.
Most rules in life were simply adopted by following (or resisting) our parents and family influences. Now you are grown up you can take responsibility for adopting your own rules that serve you better.
REMEMBER: Bear in mind that whenever I mention the word 'success' I'm talking in 'shorthand' about whatever your personal goals are.... it is based around whatever you define is most important to you right now that you are making plans to improve on ... home/family/relationships, or job/business, or health/wellbeing/weightloss/addictions, or travel/adventure or giving/contributions.... it IS NOT just all about making money and living the high life!
If your major goal for 2014 is to just stop smoking - then use this process to work out what your values and goals are, and what your rules are, that in the past have supported this bad habit, and take control to review what your new beliefs and rules can be to help pull you toward the new lifestyle that you want.
In Session 8 we review in detail what has been covered so far and how it has helps us to learn about ourselves, our triggers, our ways of responding, how to improve our thinking and out physiology to be more positive, and to increase our opportunities to shape our day every day.
Remember: Emotions create motion.
And now that we have the insight to see our biggest drivers in life, our values and beliefs, we can also get in the drivers seat and start to write the Rules that serve us best in creating a passionate and happy life that we dream of.
We have the keys to make change... now we look at how to Identify and then how to Change the beliefs that limit our life the most, in the areas that we want to improve on.
Interrupt the patterns. Create new sets of beliefs about yourself and life and so on.
Next we use the "Dickens Pattern" to change them.
I won't cover the steps here, because you need to get your hands on the program and study this in detail, it is not something to just gloss over here.
Enough to say that is uses some of the re-education principles that we learned in the moral of the Dickens Christmas Story, to develop new, better beliefs, and to make it too painful to cling to the old ineffective, useless beliefs that have been taking your power away from you.
This session can be emotionally traumatic and confronting, so make sure you have set aside the time and privacy to do it without interruption.
It is very powerful, and very motivational. Just Do It!
GOOD ONE - Thanks Tony.
Join me tomorrow for session 9 in this workshop process
Are you doing the Tony Robbins Personal Power II along with me?
*Note* To see where it all began...
I'm Reclaiming my Personal Power Again for 2014
Reclaiming My Personal Power - Sessions 1+2+3
Reclaiming My Personal Power - Session 4
Reclaiming My Personal Power - Session 5
Reclaiming My Personal Power in 2014 - Session 6
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Tell me what you are working on with your action plan for 2014, and what you know are the conditioning obstacles you need to overcome before you can move onward to your ultimate success...
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